Lived Experience Forum

[Proof_of_Light]

This is a poem I wrote for the loved ones who saw me at my worst. My very very worst. They took the brunt of the illness and stood by my side the entire time even though my anger, sadness, confusion and rage inadvertantly hurt them. It is proof that there are compassionate and empathetic individuals that will stay the course with you, regardless. These guys copped a lot, and I'm thankful for them every day. 

In this small patch of sunlight, I feel myself grow

I think of you often, and more than you know

I silently thank you for holding my hand

While I clung to a thread with my head in the sand

I searched for some peace and I pleaded my case

While my spirit dissolved in this pitiful place

Ridding your heart of the bruises and dents

You struggled to find any truth, any sense

Wild eyed and raging, I ran and I fell

I landed face down in this sweet private hell

I tried to get up but the waves pulled me down

And I wandered the halls in that white cotton gown

I lost all my senses, my rights and my mind

My actions weren’t measured but still so unkind

I cannot erase all the hurt that you felt

But I pray that the anger and sadness will melt

I refuse to let go or give up on this fight

My knuckles translucent and holding on tight

The same grip I have on the love that we have

Even though you are empty and tired and sad

I write this in silence, a shaking of hand,

I fall from this height, I know not where I’ll land

I do know for certain the sting of this climb

But I’m taking things slowly, one day at a time.

I hope that in time, you'll forgive me my faults

My flaws and my shame and my thoughtless assaults

I know you need time, some air and some space

But I want you to know, you’re my one saving grace

[Alessandra1992]

Beautiful...an ode to those folks who stand beside us every step of the way..thank you...

[Proof_of_Light]

@Alessandra1992  They are the best people I know 🙂

[peace]

@Proof_of_Light

Wow I really like that.

To me reads as a form of an apology and acknowledgement towards your loved ones.

Its good

[Proof_of_Light]

@peace , thank you. It is.

[kristin]

Hi @Proof_of_Light 

Thanks so much for sharing this poem with us! It is very beautiful. There are so many amazing people in the world, and when we have even just one, let alone several, in our lives it is such grace! 

I hope you are travelling a bit better now, sounds like you've been through a hellish time.

I don't know if you have seen them but @kato often writes poetry, as does @SCORPION sometimes, here. I also write, mine are scattered around - a couple are here. 

Kindest regards, 

Kristin

[PeppiPatty]

Golly. That's one good poem.

Thanks for writing

[kato]

@Proof_of_Light 

Hi proof_of_light, i haven't written in here before, because, honestly, i have had such a hard time reading your piece, it echo's so strongly with what i have been through and done to my loved ones, i unfortunately have lost my love, she won't have me back for what i have put her through, but your words in this, are amazing, and with so much rawness and honesty.

Thank you for sharing, i really like it alot

[Proof_of_Light]

Hi @kristin
Thank you. Sorry it's taken me so long to reply. It's part of my erratic personality. It frustrates the hell out of me sometimes but I've learnt to work with it (not always though). I'll look out for the other writing you mentioned and yours also. Thanks for your kind words. It made me smile 😊

[Proof_of_Light]

@justanother47yr,

thank you so much! It's so nice to be able to share and especially have positive feedback and being able to identify with so many others is heart warming.