Lived Experience Forum

[BlueBay]

@Shaz51 I need to slash something. I need to find something sharp. I need to get rid of my anger. 

These thoughts in my head are telling me 

I'm tired 

[Shaz51]

pull everything off the bed , throw the pillow across the room @BlueBay xxxxxxx

[Whitehawk]

Hi @BlueBay  I am sorry to hear that you are thinking of harming yourself in your anger this evening.  That must be a hard place to be in. Are you able to keep yourself safe and find other ways to let off steam?  Getting an early night might be a good idea if you are really tired.  Please reach out for help off the forum if you need additional support.

take care

Whitehawk

[Shaz51]

ohhh my sister @BlueBay , tale to us xx

are you ok xx

[Angels333]

Hey @BlueBay  I hope you can get some sleep tonight xxx

I was at work earlier tonight, but have been thinking about you xx

[BlueBay]

Hi @Whitehawk @Shaz51 @Angels333 abd others reading 

i ended up calling a nurse and told her everything. Running away flashing something. Angry emotional etc etc 

she saw i wasn't in a good state. She went to give me a med to calm down and called my psych. Because if they couldn't calm me down I would have to go to public hospital and I didn't like that. 
I ended up doing some colouring in to calm down. Then I went to bed and nurse cane in with another med. she spoke to psych and recommended another med to really zonk me out. 
I slept all night and my psych was here at 8 am to see me. He told me he was very worried but glad I spoke to the nurse and was honest. He promised me he wouldn't send me to public hospital only if I am a lot wirse. 
I'm on 30 min gor my safety. 
I really like this new psych. He is wonderfully caring and listens. 
I'm going to ask if i can still see him next week when my own psych comes back. Will see. 
today is rest day. All I want to do is sleep. I feel like I'm on slow go. But that's what he wants. 
He's coming back tomo to see how I'm going. 

[saturnzoon]

Hi @BlueBay glad you found colouring in helped you and that you confided in the nurse, it must not be easy with what your going through. Have been reading posts since back from holidays and haven't really posted much as you know with what's going on with kids and just not good at saying stuff,  like you my BPD sucks and hard to live with, ive found most people don't understand it and professionals don't believe It's a reall thing and have even been told not to let anyone know that I have it which I don't realy know how to take, but you give me hope when I see none. It seems like the psyc you are seeing there is really helping and hope that you could see him after as it makes a big difference that you find someone that you can really trust. Hope you get a good rest today.

[BlueBay]

Exhausted

not coping with loss of job 

this is my major trigger 

loss of someone else to talk to 

loss of co workers 

every day is a struggle 

no groups 

just sleep

@saturnzoon @Angels333 @Shaz51 @Zoe7 @Owlunar @Maggie @Flying_Hams @Gazza75 @Former-Member 

and ithers reafing 

[Flying_Hams]

Hey @BlueBay

Here for a bit if you need

[Maggie]

@BlueBay  💙💙💙💙

@saturnzoon @Flying_Hams @Angels333 @Shaz51  👋👋👋👋