Lived Experience Forum

[oceangirl]

@BlueBayYou will have our support here. You're amazing- and what happen to you was wrong and has nothing to do with you. I am also learning about my emotions too- perhaps we could help each other with this- I don't know how but surely we can work it out. The emotions you are feeling are the right ones for you. I know, it maybe not seem possible atm but perhaps looking to the future and to new beginnings. I have appointment to go to soon but I will back online later today sometime. 

[Shaz51]

very true my sister @oceangirl 

thinking of you as you go for your appt xxxx

@BlueBay, still sitting with you

[Owlunar]

Hi @BlueBay 

I have had some technical problems today but I have read what a bad day it has been for you. There is no need to talk about it unless you want to and it's enough that you have let us know

I will chat later - sending best thoughts

Dec

[BlueBay]

Will I ever get over my childhood abuse?

will I ever forgive the abusers?

will I ever understand my mum?

and me. Will I ever understand why me?

my head is spinning 

negativity increasing

i can’t understsnd 

I’m angry 

I need to lash out 

@Owlunar @Shaz51 @oceangirl @Razzle @Former-Member  @Ali11 

[Ali11]

Those are difficult and subjective questions @BlueBay, everyone is different in their experiences, their circumstances that affect their resilience and their resilience even if they do have all the love, support and time to work on healing. There are definitely a lot of schools of thought on things that may help, and it seems that for a lot of people it's trying each of those paths until piece by piece you feel better. Very sorry to hear you're struggling after that session, it can be an intensely raw feeling to open up like that and let out those stories. Something that can help is to remind yourself that while those experiences shaped you, they are not you. You are a wonderful human being, who shows so much warmth, compassion and love for your fellow forum members. You bring value to this community, and many on here miss you when you're not around and enjoy your thoughts when you are. There's a lot of love for you in this thread alone, and we're all here lifting you up when you're feeling down  If you feel up to it later, maybe giving one of those numbers a call could be good so you can sound out some thoughts with someone there.

Also wanted to mention that it's great to hear the email with your psych went better than expected. Someone mentioned on here somewhere the other day that part of building resilience is remembering not to assume negativity in situations, because it's often only our own internal perception. Sounds like the chat with the psych was a good reminder of this 

[BlueBay]

I’m so over work 

to be ignored and people talk in corners makes me feel they’re talking about me 

I’m staying away

i hate tiday 

wish I could disappear 

no one at wirk to replace me when I’m sick on a Monday 

next time I’m sick I am NOT going in

akways I go in because I’m made to feel guilty if I don’t 

I’m angry right now I need to breathe 

one particular co-worker is annoying the crap out of me today 

i wish I could run away from this crap life that haunts me so much 

 @Ali11 @Owlunar @Shaz51 @oceangirl @Razzle 

[Eucalypt]

Hi there @BlueBay 

It sounds like you are having a really difficult day there at work. If you are feeling unable to manage those feelings on your own please remember that you can reach out to crisis services sunch as those below;

Lifeline: 13 11 14 or Crisis Chat

Suicide call back service: 1300 659 467 or online counselling

[Shaz51]

big breath my sister @BlueBay 

don`t let other people get too you my friend , you are wonderful , awesome , caring , beautiful

here for you xxxx

[BlueBay]

You know what hurts me the most @Eucalypt @Shaz51 @Ali11 @Owlunar @oceangirl 

my so called friend st wirk. She irritates me she makes me feel hopeless and stupid. I don’t feel appreciated. 

Im not having a good week. I’m so angry I want to hurt myself to get rid of the pain. 

No one understands

i feel so useless 

[Shaz51]

@BlueBay  you are very appreciated here my sister 

I have a so called friend -- she only wants to be my friend when she wants to be friends --

you have had not a good week BUT we can get through this together

you are strong and amazing my darling xxxx