Forums Home

Carers Forum

Acceptance, connection, support. Share the journey.

Safe, anonymous discussion for people living with mental illness, moderated 24/7 by mental health professionals.

Read the community guidelines
cancel
Showing results for 
Search instead for 
Did you mean: 

Our stories

Highlighted

Re: Ups and Downs of Husband`s Mental Illness

yes @Darcy , @Sherry 

finding routine is good for mr shaz but the trouble is you can not promise it is going to easy all the time

Re: Ups and Downs of Husband`s Mental Illness

Had a look at the DSP rules @Shaz51  and don't quite understand the it all. @Smc might be more familiar with these but it looks as though to qualify for dsp you need to score a 20 in one category of the 'impairment table". It looks like if you get 20+ across categories, then a program of support applies where for 18 months to 3 years you need to be under a disability employment agency.

 

I am assuming that Mr Darcy's pdoc scored him as 20 or over as he qualified on first application and there was no mention of any program of support.  

https://www.dss.gov.au/sites/default/files/documents/05_2012/dsp_impairment_final_tables.pdf

 

Re: Ups and Downs of Husband`s Mental Illness

yes when I applied in 2009 @Darcy , the lady said I missed out by 2 points

soo see what happens this time , fingers crossed for 2019

Re: Ups and Downs of Husband`s Mental Illness

@Shaz51, @Darcy, I know they do take into consideration impairment across categories. Because we've been applying based on neurological or psychological problems, it's a little less straightforward. What tips the balance isn't so much what the condition is, it's how it affects your day to day functioning. It's relatively easy to define how a physical condition affects function, but it can be quite tricky explaining the effects a psychological condition has day to day, particularly since it slowly reduces function, and so you gradually adapt over time until you run out of "room to move".
I'm assuming @Shaz51 that the "primary condition" for you will be physical, but it may be well worthwhile getting a pschologists' assessment as well. Almost any averagely-stressed MI carer will tick some of the boxes re. their own mental health.

Re: Ups and Downs of Husband`s Mental Illness

have to make appt for myself @Smc , @Darcy , @Maggie , @Appleblossom , @Dec , @Sherry , @Determined , @outlander , @greenpea , @Faith-and-Hope 

alway put myself last -- not sure why !!!!

but puting mum and mr shaz first

Re: Ups and Downs of Husband`s Mental Illness

I know what you mean @Shaz51  I think in part, it comes from a background of abuse, it rocks our sense of self, so everyone else is more important. I do hope you make that appointment for yourself. 💜💕💜💕

Re: Ups and Downs of Husband`s Mental Illness

I think in part, it comes from a background of abuse, it rocks our sense of self,--- ohhh @Maggie , I was emotionally and mentally abused when I was young until mum and i left but still got rejected by my father until i was 43

thank you my friend HeartHeart

i will try and ring tomorrow xx

Re: Ups and Downs of Husband`s Mental Illness

@Shaz51 

I find I need to be intentional about following up on my own health needs too. 

Re: Ups and Downs of Husband`s Mental Illness

I find I need to be intentional about following up on my own health needs too -- starting to think we real need to this  @Darcy or we will never get to look after ourselves

Re: Ups and Downs of Husband`s Mental Illness

If we are treated as if we don't count when we are children then I think we put ourselves last when we are adults

 

I certainly started out that way but we do need to consider ourselves as a valuable person in our current families - 

 

We need to treat ourselves well to be in a position of treating others long term and if you are a carer then it's really necessary to have self-care and you more than just deserve it - you need it to be able to cope with all the situations that crop up being a carer.

 

I didn't consider myself as a carer when my son was around but that's what I was doing - being his carer - and if I hadn't learned to put myself first I don't think I would have lasted the duration as long as I did. I felt as if I was being really selfish at times but I was drained - and the way I coped was by going back to school and completely my eduation and I was told by so many people I was doing the wrong thing but where are those nay-sayers today - the people in my life then are not around now and I have my degree and my self-esteem

 

It was hard though - I often wonder now if being abused physicall, emotional or sexually when we are children causes us to have low self-esteem or whether it's because we are small and helpless and need everything done for us when we are small - we are not given a place of value when it comes to decisions and we are even told what to wear when we go to school - sent to Sunday School too - wearing our best clothes which we didn't choose - 

 

I guess nearly everyone wore hand-me-downs - that doesn't help with our self-esteem either

 

My mother was into physical and emotional abuse and kept it up through my lifetime which is why we didn't see each other for years - I kept away for my Mental Health - 

 

A good programme was on TV last night - on Insight - it was about estranged families - it was eerie sitting their listening to other people's stories. The stories of family breakdowns was familar even though the circumstances. I will post what time it is shown again at the weekend

 

Dec

 

@Shaz51 @Darcy 

For urgent assistance, call: