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scotty
Casual Contributor

Sick of being sick

Hiall.This is my first time on here. I have had depression for a few years. I am 65 and am going through a bad time in my life. I feel like just giving up on everything. I dont know what is wrong with me.I just want to shut off the whole world. I dont know what to do

 

13 REPLIES 13

Re: Sick of being sick

 

Welcome to the forums, scotty Smiley Happy

Sorry to hear that things sound really tough for you right now. Are you ok and feeling safe? I worry hearing/seeing that you feel like giving up on everything. It sounds like a dark time for you. Smiley Sad

You mentioned that you've had depression for a few years. Have gone through periods of feeling a similar way? If you have, how did you get through it? 

When things start to feel like too much, it's important to reach out for support, like you have done so by coming on to the forums. I'm glad that you've come on here, and have shared how you are feeling. That takes a lot of courage, and I admire the strength you have in opening up. Do you have others around you who provide you with support (family/friends)? Do you see a counsellor or a doctor? I'm not sure what supports you have in place in the moment so I'm going to provide some information (apologies if you already know most of this or have in place already).

- Getting in touch with your GP can be a good first step to addressing how you're feeling. They can do an initial assessment and link you with mental health professional.

- For immediate support, the Salvo Care Line provides 24-hour counselling.

- If you feel like you are at risk of your harming yourself, please contact Lifeline 13 11 44 or 000. 

@kenny66 @kristin @Alessandra1992  have you got advice for scotty? I can recall reading posts where you have shared that you have also gone through dark times and have gotten through it. 

 

 

 

Re: Sick of being sick

Hi Scotty,

Welcome to the forum, sounds like you are in one of the right places. Not that we can "fix" you or anything like that. But I hope you will find that people here "get" what it's like to suffer from things such as depression, because we have/do suffer from these things too.

You sound like you are in a huge amount of pain, wanting to give up and shut the world off. I've experienced that myself. It felt so painful that it was like I'd been flayed (skin torn off) emotionally.

Do you have any sense of what brought the depression on? Usually there are good reasons why we experience these things, it's just that we may not realise or connect them with the depression or MI we suffer from. Would you mind telling us a little more about yourself? - If you feel comfortable to do that. It might give us more of a sense of what is troubling you, or what might help.

Do you have any supports; either family, community, friends, doctor, counsellor? Often talking with someone you trust who at least tries to understand (even if they don't fully) can help alleviate that intensity. I think that is one of the reasons I find the forum so helpful. I know that others here will "get it". However, sometimes it is easier face to face.

I'd like to help if I can. I certainly hope your intense pain alleviates soon. One thing I have learned in suffering from episodic depression for 35 years is that these things do pass, even though at the time it often doesn't feel like that black cloud will ever shift. Please take care. I hope we hear from you again soon.

Kindest regards,

Kristin

 

Re: Sick of being sick

HI Scotty

 

I am sorry you are having such a bad time of it. I have had pretty severe issues with my schizophrenia, but I manage to bounce back.

Most of my severe depressive moods have not been triggered by anything particular, and as you know its easy to slip into one without any warning. I guess I have never lost sight of the fact I am actually a person with a value, with a few flaws. 

One of the big things for me was having someone I could talk to at length. Most of the people I know have a mental illness, which made it easy to talk to someone who sort of knew the ropes anyway. If you cant get to the GP I hope you have someone to talk to, who will listen.

I have used lifeline when I was really down and took myself off to accident and emergency if self harm was an issue. You obviously have insight into how you feel at the moment and that's the biggest issue towards getting yourself right.

If it helps you to dialogue through this thread,go for it, there  are plenty of us who can and will listen and respond, endlessly if we have to so that we can give you plenty of support. As I said before, if you need immediate help ring one of the crisis hotlines or go off to the A and E.

I have used both with very positive results. If you want to talk, there are plenty of us here to help you out with conversation and advice.

Scotty, I have been  through a lot of bad stuff in my life but with the support of various people I got through it. Hope this helps.

 

kenny

Re: Sick of being sick

Hi Scotty

At one of my lowest points I started corresponding with a guy in the UK who put together some youtube videos on his journey with mental illness. I have his videos streaming to my computer, I find them so supportive.

He helped me get through the worst of times.

He became a bit of a celebrity on line and one of the production companies has taken up his theme and is making a documentary about mental illness. He has schizoaffective disorder, like me, but the messages and experiences could apply to any mental illness. If you are willing to have a look,

I think you will find them as enlightening and compelling as I have. Schizoaffective is a sort of top end schizophrenia and he has a severe form of it. It is a story about despair, hope, insight , managing his illness, and staying well.

There are quite a few of them and I guarantee once you have seen the first one you will want to see them all. Please give it a go. The youtube video is called "my journey with schizoaffective disorder" by Johnny Benjamin.

 

Kenny

 

Re: Sick of being sick

Hey Scotty, welcome to our shared knowledge and community of wisdom. It is so very hard to change our emotions, but for me, there's a spark of hope in what you wrote..I don't know what is wrong with me..that feeling sucks doesn't it? And wanting to shut off from the world makes sense when we are not ourselves and the world makes no sense..
It sounds such a cliche, but this sentence got me through some very dark days, to let time pass and that feelings are like the weather and they do change..
Apart from joining this forum, have you had a chance to think about some of the suggestions offered? Sometimes calling a friend or a helpline can be extremely helpful. Depending on how distressed you are, its OK to just take on board what has worked for you before, or try something new, that you haven't tried before...
Hang in there, browse the forum and let us know what you think.


Re: Sick of being sick

Hi Scotty. I think you have just "broken through".  I'm in my early '60's & have spent most of my life battling with "sadness". At least that's what i called it when i was a child.

   I'd like to share with you the fact that, until last week i'd never tried to join a forum such as this one so i feel too new to the experience to offer a "welcome". I can say that i now know that sharing is as close as my keyboard.

   I hope you feel relieved to be among fellow travellers. Like you, i've been going through a "rough patch". I don't go outside unless i need to. This last week, i've been "out & about" a bit more than usual; i've had a chat with my GP. & she's been understanding & helpful.

   My beast is depression & as age has caught up with me it finds me an easy target. When i was working i had enough distraction in my life to fight it off or ignore it. Now, i spend too much time obsessing about how i can pay for this & that & what can go on the shopping list.

   Now i've found this forum i have somewhere to go & remind me that there are others "doing it tough" & probably tougher than myself.

   Giving up is your choice Scotty but i don't think you want to. Life can dish up a lot & sometimes we get a kind of post traumatic stress disorder just dealing with the never ending changes.

   Take it easy, Scotty-- you'll get better; after all-- you've taken the hardest step already.

  

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Re: Sick of being sick

@schultz  Welcome to the forums! Smiley Happy

Thanks for your insightful contribution. I look forward to seeing more of you on here. 

Re: Sick of being sick

Welcome @Schulz and @Scotty...how are you travelling today? I think I read that you have been struggling with having time on your hands, that may be giving you too much time to think very negatively about yourself. I do too, if I am left to my own devices for extended periods.
Have you explored your local neighbourhood house? Is there a men's shed nearby? Down here in Victoria, we had a Green Gym that that was community members working together on landcare type projects with wetlands etc..
Would you enjoy being outdoors or indoors?
I would say try a peer support group like Grow, but it depends where you are in Australia.
My mum years ago was in a job drought, for about 5 years, underemployment I think it the current term. So my mum joined a bridge club because she liked playing cards and meeting people.
And we're here for you too!

Re: Sick of being sick

Schultz, well done for being sensible enough to join our forum. In our own way we are all experts in our sickness. Your Input should broaden all of our outlook on the different ways that people handle their own MI. Great to have you on board. Don't be shy.
Regards loopy.
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