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Re: Sharing my life with Ms Sophie (Bipolar II)

Thanks @Darcy  I made it through today with lots of worry and feeling teary myself as I worried for MsS all day. MsS seemed calmer and clearer when I got home an hour ago ... she is still in pain and withdrawing from one of her meds ... think I’ll clear the weekend of social engagements to make life easier for us both ... in the meantime I made myself a cup of tea and will go to bed early tonight after watching a bit of tv .. u ok ??

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Re: Sharing my life with Ms Sophie (Bipolar II)

Sometimes things can get a bit overwhelming @Sophie1 pain can cause us to feel quite out of sorts.  

 

Is there much longer to go on tapering off the med for Ms S? 

 

Hopefully you both get a decent night sleep and wake up refreshed.

 

Feeling a bit in transition at the moment with house on market (although very little interest in it), feeling as though I need to get out more but not wanting to commit to anything as potential move is interstate.

Re: Sharing my life with Ms Sophie (Bipolar II)

Hi @Darcy @Ali11 @outlander @Shaz51 @Smc @Determined  

 

Ms S and I had a horrible and yet wonderful week all at once - anyway the horrible bits were psychiatrist not tracking med script renewal (the sort that needs a controlled script permit that only the psychiatrist can get) and as a result a week of withdrawals - MsS soldiered through but was upset that her psych had forgotten the renewal, not warned her, psych abused the pharmacist when he rung him, then psych promised to renew the script and fax to pharmacist and when MsS went to pharmacy to get the script all that was there was a fax from psych saying because MsS didn’t attend her appt during the week there would be no script!!!! There was no info or warning given to MsS from the psych - MsS couldn’t drive to appt because she had a migraine and was dizzy from withdrawals from the med he failed to renew !!!! She had rung early and advise psych receptionist of this and offered to pay for missed appt - there was zero indication of any problem this would cause given to MsS ... anyway she was in tears after calling pharmacy and finally admitted her psychs attitude , performance of his job (tracking scripts and writing them clearly for pharmacists) and general behaviour was unacceptable and she would like to change psychs !!!! 

 

Hallelujah!!!! I’ve been waiting for this moment for years !!!!!! The psych has caused sooooo many issues for us over last 12+years with his sloppy writing , aggressive attitude , slack renewals of permits etc... I’ve always said is was MsS choice who her psych was and I knew this day would come and I can’t tell you how relieved I am - my anger toward this psych has Brewed over a decade - I have watched his sloppiness cause MsS grief multiple times and heard him verbally abuse MsS pharmacists and gps over the phone when they are forced to phone him to clarify his illegible hand writing of her scripts ... even worse and I’m not sure I’ll ever forgive him for this - was seeing MsS lose cognitive and motor skills over a 12 month period on a ‘new’med I repeatedly told him was clearly causing the decline - she had no self insight and couldn’t tell him herself so kept agreeing to take it - he ignored me and my protests until MsS drove into a bus one morning... I took her to his office that day and sighted the accident , repeated falls at home, loss of all expression on face and ability to interact to even order her own coffee !!!!he could no longer refute and admitted her to clinic to come off the med ... why did it have to get that bad to be heard ??????? Anyway we are now trying to change psych to the psych who saw her in the clinic and changed her meds to current suite - she was at least kind, professional and not aggressive - it is further to drive and more expensive  - 1.5 hrs - but it’s torally worth it ...

 

sorry for long post but this is really a decade of carers fury and this is me holding back to not breach moderator rules for forum - I need to write this to get some of my grief out re how badly I feel MsS has been treated by this psych - not sure how to process this really but I guess it’s likel everything else a day at a time ... I know we r on a better path now - I hope there is no further shows of aggression from psych when he discovers we have moved on ... 

 

anyone thoughts ?? Advice ?? Similar experience ??? 

Re: Sharing my life with Ms Sophie (Bipolar II)

I found my son’s psychiatrist brash and insensitive, and mis-informed about our situation .  When I tried to approach him I was aggressively rebuffed, and within the team he brought together my husband and I were shepherded first into family counselling with our son with the aim of bringing everything out into the open ...... which would have been a complete disaster for all of us, including our son ..... and we all knew it where the team didn’t.  The counsellors I had spoken to, and the one I was seeing, outside of all this were completely horrified, but none of us were able to intervene as there is no diagnosis over my husband. His illness is still completely hidden and he is aggressive about keeping it that way.  I was accused of enabling in the process - heartbreaking considering how long I had been trying to flag down help, including from that psychiatrist !!!!

 

Out of the frying pan into the fire ..... in their all-powerful wisdom the team sent hubby and me to a couples counsellor where I still could not speak out without risking disaster before anyone understood we were in peril.

 

I believe they worked it out in the end, and realised they had denied me help in an untenable situation that they then could not reverse, having aggressively upheld opposition to me ..... they would have collapsed our tentative balance if they tried to alter anything in their stance at that point ......

 

I “fixed” it by agreeing that hubby and I would continue with couples counselling in the east, with no intention to do so, so they would sign us all off their books, then made a deal with hubby to continue our family life as “just friends” to take the marriage counselling out of it, and try to carry on towards, hopefully one day, an unmasking and a diagnosis ..... but our kids are slowly recovering under this current status quo in the meantime.

 

Grrrr, grrrrr and more grrrrr .....

 

Not wanting to diss psychiatrists, psychologists or counsellors in general ..... seeing another one here now ..... just that one.  I understand they had their reasons, and our situation is as clear as mud, but sending us east for the kids to recover detached us only temporarily from what was feeding the problem, as hubby now flies back every half-week to stay engaged with what is feeding the problem, but it removed me from all my family, friends and support network in the process.

 

How can they have so much power without accountability ?  Perhaps only in the vacuum of our missed diagnosis ...... and maybe the accountability will come when diagnosis ever eventuates.

 

Veeeerrrry long-winded way of saying “I hear you” @Sophie1  ❣️

 

😔

Re: Sharing my life with Ms Sophie (Bipolar II)

I am so with you @Sophie1 after incidents that occurred, I will question everything and is a secondary reason why I encourage Mr Darcy to complete mood charts (the primary reason is that it is best practice). I advocate for him strongly and will cite RANZCP treatment guidelines and produce scholarly articles. I have asked pdoc to supply me with any article they would like me to read if they feel a particular medication would be of benefit particularly if they want to prescribe more than one.  I ask specifically why they are prescribing, what benefit can be expected, when that benefit will be evident and what plan is in place to discontinue if the medication is not beneficial.

 

I understand that all meds have risk v benefit and there will be side effects. Working out what is the best of the bad lot is a process.  For Mr Darcy, the weight gain (which is being managed) was the trade off - he has not been suicidal or psychotic - perhaps not as good as one pdoc alluded to but am following up on that.

Re: Sharing my life with Ms Sophie (Bipolar II)

Hearing you here also @Sophie1 

Trust the transition goes well for you both. 

Re: Sharing my life with Ms Sophie (Bipolar II)

@Sophie1 

I think open communication is a key factor in all of this.  

Re: Sharing my life with Ms Sophie (Bipolar II)

I am most grateful that I am able to communicate with Darlings current PDoc,

he will even return my calls when I have had concerns. Former didn't like me or my input. 

Re: Sharing my life with Ms Sophie (Bipolar II)

Absolutely right, @Darcy, open communication is key.

 

So great to hear the news for you @Sophie1, the move towards change has been coming for a while. If MsS likes that new psych then the extra travel time will be worth it Smiley Happy  

Re: Sharing my life with Ms Sophie (Bipolar II)

It’s so hard when that happens @Determined  ..... especially as they are not the ones living within the issues.  They are making decisions that affect all our relationships, and to try to counter a lack of inclusion can have us painted as oppositional to treatment - uncompliant ..... 😔

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