Lived Experience Forum

[BPDSurvivor]

@Nells ,

That's fantastic! It's good the psychiatrist gave her a set timeframe so she knows how long she can stay for. That's definitely promising. However, it does take more than 2 weeks to sort meds out. The DBT is the best bit! I hope she seizes every opportunity.

How are you in the mix of things? Please remember self care. Set yourself boundaries to protect yourself.

Also, do you have any PARCs near you? (Prevention and recovery centres). They help a lot.

Let me know how things go.

Take care Mum @Nells ,

BPDSurvivor

[BPDSurvivor]

@BlueBay @Aniela @Nells @JJ4 @vashi @BPDrose @Luca33 @Sarah_850 @Olliesmum @asdfge @SunflowerMe @magical_journey @Tbo @sarvan @Snoopy56 @sanity41 @Ellan @Laylah @Flossy92 @Bow @BPDSurvivor @Jacaranda84 @WIP @LouisianaM @Shaz51 

[Judi9877]

Hi @BPDSurvivor @Nells @BlueBay @Bow @WIP and all forum members here. Just popping into say how I dealt with an episode earlier. I hope it's okay.

This afternoon, I decided to write 2 descriptive pieces focusing on the emotion of Anger that I experienced just recently with my housemate when they were away. They focused on different weather and environmental elements and I am proud to say I'm quite proud of what I've written. It was a calming and therapeutic way of dealing with this emotion and I'm glad I took this avenue to express myself using this method. I really enjoyed English as a subject in high school and loved journaling as well as writing fictional pieces as a class assignment so to get back into this today felt and was really special. Just imagining the intensity of the emotion and comparing it to the events I described was breathtaking and almost felt real in some way yet I know it wasn't (the anger emotion was, though). It's kind of like going out and taking a photo of something to describe the emotion I was feeling yet I imagined it and wrote how I thought the emotion would compare and contrast.

Anyway, that's just my experience this afternoon.

Talk later,

Judi9877

[BPDSurvivor]

That's so awesome @Judi9877 !

If you feel able, you are welcome to share it here or even a snippet of it.

If you don't want to, that's also okay because I know it was the process of doing it which allowed you to acquaint yourself and deal with the anger, rather than the actual product of the piece.

Thank you for sharing this amazing experience with us. I find writing helps me a lot too, but I don't dedicate enough time to it. I appreciate your reminder of its benefits.

Cheers,

BPDSurvivor

[WIP]

Good on you @Judi9877 

That feeling of being proud of yourself is so good.

Thanks for sharing and Well Done!

🦋🌸🦋 

[BPDSurvivor]

Hi @Andrab and @Mush1 !

Join us over here!

[BPDSurvivor]

@BlueBay @Aniela @Nells @JJ4 @vashi @BPDrose @Luca33 @Sarah_850 @Olliesmum @asdfge @SunflowerMe @magical_journey @Tbo @sarvan @Snoopy56 @sanity41 @Ellan @Laylah @Flossy92 @Bow @BPDSurvivor @Jacaranda84 @WIP @LouisianaM @Shaz51 @Mush1 @Andrab @GLORY 

[Judi9877]

Hi @BPDSurvivor  and others. @BPDSurvivor Wow! You certainly know how to tune into the BPD stuff at the right time with me so a big thank you! I posted on another thread Need to vent and tagged you there as there were things I needed to say. Please feel free to read it and comment.

As for the photo with the word 'Borderline' in the middle and words associated with the condition, you are spot on with a few of them of how I'm feeling. They are:

Rage, Self Harm- thoughts only nothing serious, Intense, Trapped, Exhausted, Unstable, Chaos, Alone, Isolated,Broken, Confused.  
It's like I've got all these feelings and thoughts yet people are invalidating me because they're coming out with the same old comments- 'it's just the BPD in you!'. I'm sorry but the people that are saying that also have their own MH issues including one with BPD herself, which makes no sense. What they don't understand is that they are

actually part of why I'm feeling and acting the way I am.  
Trust me when I say I didn't ask for BPD. I go to bed at night often hating myself because of who I am and what this condition has done. I wish I was normal or at least had a MH condition that wasn't as stigmatised as BPD. For me, at least depression and schizophrenia are okay and are more understood that BPD.

Thanks for reading.

Judi9877

[BPDSurvivor]

Hey @Judi9877 ,

How are you travelling? It's so good to see your activity during this time.

When you think of it, it was not so long ago

that MH was a taboo and MH itself was stigmatised. If we have now come to the point where the government realises the need for MH treatments, and has budgeted for and poured in millions towards MH, I believe it won't take long before BPD is distigmstised. However, this takes people to rise up and to show the world that there IS healing with BPD.

Im not sure about you or anyone else, but have you realised most BPD resources simply confirm you have the BPD diagnosis and it then goes on to tell you all about BPD 'suffering'? I totally validate and acknowledge the need to understand the condition, but I myself would like to see more of how people can live successfully with well-managed BPD. I wouldn't trade my BPD for anything. It's not always easy, but then again, life's not meant to be 'easy'. 

How's everyone else going? Just wanted to check-in with you all.

@Shaz51 @BlueBay @Aniela @Nells @JJ4 @vashi @BPDrose @Luca33 @Sarah_850 @Olliesmum @asdfge @SunflowerMe @magical_journey @Tbo @sarvan @Snoopy56 @sanity41 @Ellan @Laylah @Flossy92 @Bow @BPDSurvivor @Jacaranda84 @WIP @LouisianaM @Andrab 

BPDSurvivor

[Judi9877]

Good evening @BPDSurvivor. Thanks for the tag. It was much appreciated. Your insight into BPD constantly amazes me and I can't believe how much you know. It almost makes me feel inferior about my condition in some ways as I know more about my other conditions which are depression and schizophrenia which is a little sad when you look at it. Anyhow, I'm always open to learning, hence my uni studying - I have loved getting lost down the research rabbit hole of looking for something in journals and databases specific to my research topic in question only to get distracted and find something MH related which I then add to my library list of things to read later on! Believe me when I say that list is long and I've only done 1 subject out of 24! 
I'm like you and don't like how people in government and healthcare professionals only see the negative sides of BPD and not the positives. It's disappointing yet as you know, there are positive and negatives to all MH conditions, not just BPD. I'm sick of hearing that I'm manipulative and I do things for attention and don't mean things such as SH by friends, family members and healthcare professionals as well as the general public. I've had family members want me to SH so they can get their hands on a family members will without having me to contest it and not survive. I've also had the same family member tell me that BPD is if you can believe, different personalities on the border and want to know what personality is coming out at that certain time 😂! Oh, and because I've dissociation periods, I've apparently got multiple personality disorder or DID as it preferred, and that this is also part of BPD! Feel free to laugh😂! I think the government need to spend time talking to people with BPD to realise the beauty in the condition and see the advantages of it because there are truly some good ones. 
As for suffering and the tones of BPD literature, I believe those authors are playing to a dichotomy that is known and believe that suffering and negative ideas of BPD sell books, etc, and will do anything to make money. People don't want to believe that people with BPD can recover because I believe there will be less need for treatments by health professionals and that means less money for all involved. I've learnt that I have to question the credibility and authority of the authors in question and see what their motives or intentions are for writing the said literature to see if it's relevant and if they have any suitable qualifications in the area of BPD. If they can't meet my criteria and I'm not satisfied, then I'm sorry but they don't deserve my valuable time in reading their work. If that's harsh, I'm very sorry and I hope I haven't offended you or anyone else. It's just that BPD has had enough negativity and I want to change the dialogue and as you say, flip the script!

I believe with research and relevant treatment by people who are willing to go the distance with me that I will recover or recover to a point I'm happy with. Maybe it's as simple that I need to look into research and reading articles and the like to help myself get better. I don't know. What I do know is I'm an okay person and I'm resilient. I'm a survivor and I'm still here, 43 years on, which has to say something, right? 

Time to go and do some cross stitching. This time, it's Baby Yoda from Star Wars, holding a ❤️. I'm no Star Wars fan but he is cute and currently has my heart 💝 at the present time. 

Take care and stay safe!

Judi9877☺️🍀