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IStillLoveHim
Casual Contributor

Partner Has Paranoid Schizoprenia

Hi, i am new to this site and I joined because Im at a loss as to how help my boyfriend who has paranoid schizophrenia and refuses to acknowledge it...i can see him going downhill month by month as he is currently unmedicated and untreated for his condition.

Any advice would be greatly appreciated...especially from those who are or have been in similar situations such as mine

 

Cheers.

11 REPLIES 11

Re: Partner Has Paranoid Schizoprenia

@IStillLoveHim  Hi IStillLoveHim and welcome to the forums.I have schitzoaffective disorser and my son2 has schizophrenia amongst other problems. You cannot have your boyfriend forceably admitted to a mental health ward unless he is a danger to himself and/or others.The thing is he will crash due to his schizophrenia it is only a matter of time. In the meantime you should be looking after yourself with lots of self care.

 

If you can get him to see his trusted gp as a start that would be great if not as I have previously said it is only a matter of time before he ends up in hospital due to his illness. Take care of yourself. greenpeax

Re: Partner Has Paranoid Schizoprenia

Hi, my son has schizophrenia and lives with us. It is so hard to live with when he refuses to take meds and so pleasant when he takes them. He has just come out of hospital under a community treatment order but has not taken any of the pills he needs. 
Interventions can be horrible involving police, manhandling and anger. They are painful to endure, possibly more painful for the people who love the patient. 
But, and this is scary, the longer the condition goes untreated and the more often it happens, the more damage is done to the patient's intellect. 
Recognising this and accepting it can lead to acceptance which is the desired outcome and the starting place for a pleasant life fir me and my son. I suspect the same would apply to you and your partner. 
Although my son is calm and pleasant today, I have decided that my wife and I need to look after ourselves too. So I will be telling my son he must take his meds or I call the CAT team and report he is not complying which will mean readmittance to a psych ward. 
Good luck with whatever you decide to do. 

Re: Partner Has Paranoid Schizoprenia

@IStillLoveHim  A warm and supportive welcome to the forum. I'm sorry to read of your situation and agree wholeheartedly with @greenpea from experience, that yes it is only a matter of time before your partner deteriorates further and that medical intervention is a necessity. Please look after yourself as best you can and hopefully an appointment can be made with his GP very soon. 

Re: Partner Has Paranoid Schizoprenia

He refuses to see any doctor because he believes what he hears and sees in his mind is real and thats the hardest thing to deal with...a friend of mine (whos partner has the same thing as mine) tells me to just go along with whatever he says and keep the peace but i refuse to feed into the fantasy which frustrates my partner to no end...as he believes im against him by not believing him and i feel bad but I believe its worse to indulge his illness by agreeing that what he tells me is right when its not...what will happen to him if he doesnt see his doctor?...will he become violent as his mind deteriorates?...he has already threatened me should i try to intervene on his behalf with his doctor.

My hands are tied but im fearing how bad it could get if things are left the way they are...ive read the statistics on the suicide rates involving schizophernics who are left to their own devices and it scares me to death...i love him so much and there seems to be nothing i can do for him...i dont want to wait until he is dragged away kicking and screaming to get the help he needs because somehow the possibility that he will hate me forever should I let that happen to him is the worst possible outcome i can imagine 😞

Re: Partner Has Paranoid Schizoprenia

Thank you x

Re: Partner Has Paranoid Schizoprenia

@IStillLoveHim  Hey IStillLoveHim it is tricky but you should never tell someone who is hallucinating or delusional that what they are experiencing is not real .... it is a tricky one and best avoided in conversation ..... When he crashes and is admitted to hospital just remember it will be the best thing for him. He wont hate you sweetheart. He wont like being on meds (I dont but take them because the threat of hospital again is enough to keep me on the straight and narrow). Plus as @Griffin  said if a patient keeps going on and off meds the more damage to the mind occurs .... (bad english but you know what I mean). We are all here for you and understand exactly what you are going through. Take care and make sure you look after you. Love greenpea

Re: Partner Has Paranoid Schizoprenia

Hi Griffin.

Im new here ( 1 hour ) but as a 74 year old war veteran Ive been in hospital almost 40 times since 1980 and have seen MANY sufferers of schitzopherenia so I feel qualified to give advice.

Clearly you love him (dearly, desperately? ) and you cannot afford to lose him. IMHO at some time in the future an insufferable event WILL take place and the tragic pain can be horribly life changing.....an so, as a matter of utter urgency, you must 'strike swiftly' to prevent the inevitably pain and as none of your efforts have produced a result stand back and attack his denial in an unconventional way. Im assuming you have a mutually strong love for each other ok?

How about a bit of really convincing acting? To demonstrate the gravity of his situation try producing an apparent break down. Get teary ( convincingly ), do some trempling, eat less, appear to be going into 'break down' mode - terrified of an unravelling existence, life isn't worth living should your fears materialise. If he loves you truly - from the bottom of his heart - hopefully, surely, he'll see things differently - that just maybe your assessment of his behaviour is on the money - 'My God Darling, I'm only asking for a professional assessment and a couple of tablets a day isn't going to hurt you Love'. Get on the stage and prove to him how right you are, that life as we know it is at stake'. Becoming a star just might give him a new perspective, some insight.

What have you got to loose?

Life is starting to unravel a little already so get moving Lady. Take control in an attempt to keep what you have, need and love.

Yes, it's only the opinion of a stranger but surely my way can't hurt and just maybe you'll win a bit of a lottery. Yes, my suggestion truly is a bit of a lie but it can't hurt, can it?Fight for what what you have because further deterioration, really, is unbearable.

Good luck Lady and know that you ain't alone in this.

Brian 🦀

Re: Partner Has Paranoid Schizoprenia

Hi,
I know exactly what you are going through as I am going through the same thing with my partner. And yep it's hard to watch and hard to live with.
Hardest part, watching them self deny they have a problem and watching them fall. I tend to just listen to my partner when he talks about aliens and all sorts of weird things. I also try get him to look at what he says logically if its well and truly over the top. The hardest part is the moods. I don't know if your boyfriend is on recreational drugs, mine is which makes it harder. Im sitting reading the comments in great hope I see a sign of help also

Re: Partner Has Paranoid Schizoprenia

Hi, thanks for your post...

 

Yes he takes recreational drugs and it is extremely hard to deal with just on that note but in general without the drugs being the issue is this...see my partner believes he is being wirelessly controlled by "the device" (thats what he calls it) and he believes a whole range of things and people are responsible for whats happening to him on a daily basis...it ranges from area 51 in america to scientology to bikers in an aussie bike club being the cause and he claims they select random people to do mind studies on for the greater good of humanity and he blames these people for everything that goes wrong in his life...and he also excuses murderers and rapists for their actions because the same thing is happeneing to them...and its where i have to draw the line because that makes me angry to hear him say that. Basically noone is responsible for their own actions because they are also being wirelessly controlled by "the device" and when i try to point out that you have to have a receiver implanted in your head to be wirelessly controlled he claims they inserted one in the hospital back when he was 13 and he broke his arm...which he also claims was "their fault".

Look i could go on and on and on about this but what i find the most hard to deal with is the repetitiveness on the subject and his obsession with the police which he believes are after him all the time.

And the most interesting thing I see is when these voices in his head, defend me and he says they say that i should leave him and find someone much better and stuff like that...he argues with them constantly and i sit back feeling absolutely helpless just watching him get worse and worse

I dont know how much more i can take...i would never leave him but i might have to interfere on his behalf and go see a doctor

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