Lived Experience Forum

[Appleblossom]

You were on my mind in the last couple of days @Former-Member in a good way.

Kitchen cleaning .. yeah ... well living in a house where we renovated for 10 years .. I am more aware of different levels of cleaning .. 

Cleaned all the grout on m kitchen tiles last month but glossed over other things.

Still dont have the oven ..

My ex bought me a 2nd hand book called "Woman Time" which was about time management for housewives ...it was good .. he was trying to help me be more efficiently womanly ...

I say.. if it takes 3 hours it takes 3 hours .. then other times .. I am through jobs "in a flash"

[Former-Member]

Hi @Former-Member

I must admit it was life saving for me as it was for your mum. If you are having trouble with hormone fluctuation now I would keep a close eye on it.

I had the same symptoms with peri-menopause that you are describing now. It caused chronic anxiety and distress around that time of the month particularly, like you. And yes, it made it harder to cope. I am not surprised you are finding things overwhelming for you at times - it can cause suicidal ideation too if bad enough. And heightened irritability, anger,  flying off the handle more easily etc. 

It's a much overlooked area of health and most GPs don't have a clue.  If you can peruse seeing a gynaecologist (I saw an endocrinologist whom was also great specialising in this area) please do so as you shouldn't be suffering this way - there is little knowledge unfortunately in this area but there are some good professionals out there that know how to treat it.

May I ask how old your mum was before she went on hrt? I started suffering peri-menopause at age 40 and it just became gradually worse. I went on HRT at 50 (and I was still menstruating, just less frequently) and at 56 I am still on it and it's been great for me. I don't intend to even look at coming off until at least 60. Hormone imbalance can make ones life hell. Hope all goes well for you my friend - I really don't won't you to suffer needlessly. 🤗❤

[Former-Member]

Hi @Teej, iI'm glad the shock made mine stop altogether. I had terrible trouble with PMS. My first and major 'breakdown' I would always do something really stupid that 24-48hrs before mensuration, including self harm. And I knew i wasnt couldn't talk myself into it because I was always irregular, sometimes late anything from 3-10days usually or miss altogether. I started marking the calendar and took things real easy the 3rd week on, as long as it took and the anxiety, distrusting myself. I think HRT might be for you. A Dr I know that practises Nutritional Medicine prescribed a Compound Cream that helped settle things. You're in good company with this. Not alone. Keep looking for help. xox

[Teej]

Hi @Faith-and-Hope are you still up? 

[Teej]

It’s ok @Faith-and-Hope i guess not. Just had something on my mind that I didn’t know where to write. It’s a kidult thing. 

[Teej]

Hey @Faith-and-Hope i can see you are up now 😜😘 

[Faith-and-Hope]

Yes, I’m up @Teej ..... 😄

Left my phone at home when I walked with D3 to uni, but S2 dropped it off to me on his way through to his class, so I am sitting in front of a coffee at the moment ..... ☕️💕

[Teej]

My kidult thing. Having a lovely dinner with someone last night when at ne point I asked him how he went with insuring his car. He replied he hasn’t. He has no insurance at all. I told him he really needed third party insurance and the consequences of not having it were huge. I offered to set it up there and then and pay for a couple of months (it’s like $20 per month) but he refused. I told him this is what I’ve done for his brothers and they pay me monthly. He still refused. He got angry and I don’t know what, if anything, I can do about it. He has not been angry like that with me for many years. I hate the fact that someone else could suffer because of his stubbornness and that he could suffer too. I tried to get him to tell me why he wouldn’t do it so I could understand and he closed up and went home. 

Any thoughts @Faith-and-Hope

[Faith-and-Hope]

A couple of things @Teej .....

Firstly, he might not know why he is angry, and will need to think it through ..... it’s likely to be a lat by anger that has been there for some time, perhaps stored in early adolescent thought code ...... meaning he will need to review it as an adult and see whether whatever issue that is still stands up with his adult self.

My D3 has anger triggers that seem to come out of nowhere at times, and she can’t always explain in the moment what they are about ..... I do know at one stage that I referred to the school counsellor helping her through when we had wh issues compromising her education ..... and she yelled at me that she ..... SHE ..... got HERSELF through the same sort of SH*T that her brother has had help to navigate ..... that SHE managed her own panic attacks BY HERSELF .....

It was obviously about validation and her sense of self, but I couldn’t touch it in the moment. She has unresolved anger issues but won’t see anybody to talk it out with at the moment. They may just surface gradually and resolve with time, I’m not sure.

I hope this helps you in some way, even if it’s just to not feel so alone in this swampy kidult territory.

💜

Keep chatting with me about it if there is more you want to say / explore ..... I’m here ....

[Teej]

Thanks @Faith-and-Hope. It did help to hear that. I think you are probably right. There is likely to be something underlying there..... you know my history with this one, it’s complex.....and I know he struggles feeling like the black sheep too. Normally I let his stuff go when we disagree but there is so much at stake if it goes wrong. 

My brain is battling lots again today so I’m going to head off for now. Thanks again. I hope your day is ok. 💜🤗