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Re: New diagnosis

Off to Vict for the weekend with my siblings so will do some chatting - they have been getting daily txt's for months now & know all the details. Hubby has solo time with counselor tomorrow & she will be letting him know he either is in couples therapy or one of us will have to stop coming. We have a joint session with her early next week so we'll see if he turns up & what his intentions are & I will take action from there. Thanks for the support xxx

Re: New diagnosis

Good on you Mrs C for getting some extensions on bills! And taking self care seriously, a walk can be a great de-stress action. I like @zipper's suggestions too.
Have you called his counsellor about the financial stress you are under?
It sounds as though a financial counsellor might be really worth speaking to. In olden says, Citizens Advice Bureau used to know where to direct people. Would Centerlink ora commu city centre have links into a financial counsellor? Judt to explore options of dealing with banks, bills, etc...

Re: New diagnosis

I am so pleased Mrs C that you have support from your family

I am sure your siblings will have only your best interests at heart and give you some honest advice !!

have a wonderful time 

take care

ZZ

 

 

 

Re: New diagnosis

Happy Thursday! We have a joint counselor at the moment & she is well aware of the financial situation, he has walked out of counselling before so we will tread gently on this one,I trust her to lead & she has now been around long enough to see a cycle of paying quarterly tax and the aftermath. I am working in the background to get some expert advice on how we can get out of this cycle for both our health as it now directly affects mine as well. Baby baby steps!
I found this today - it helped me.

Daily Word Vitamin for Thursday October 16th, 2014: RESILIENCE

If we're seeking to feel freer to express who we really are and live an authentic emotionally colourful life rather than become a beige people pleaser, we'll need to work on our emotional muscle of RESILIENCE.

How? ...

The best way I've found is instead of tormenting ourselves with the futile "why's" when challenging and shitty situations arise; we work our hearts muscle of RESILIENCE better when we ask ourselves "how" we can make changes that will intercept this ever happening again.

I remind myself often when I need to ask myself H.O.W I'm gonna overcome an emotional obstacle ... that this words letters actually answer my question themselves ...

H is for Honestly
O stands for Open-mindedly
and ...
W reminds me to make the necessary changes in myself Willingly.

How do we handle upsetting, inconvenient, emotionally immature people maturely? We take our behaviour up a notch, not stoop to petty paybacks or passive aggressive punishment and respond with the grace of an adult not the grief of a child. We conduct ourselves Honestly, Open-mindedly and Willingly, that's how!

We all accept in adult life that "shit happens" sometimes we can work out "why" it happens and sometimes we can't.

When we focus on "how" we're gonna get through it with our self respect in tact, we can actually create sustainable change.

In order to keep building our hearts RESILIENCE we need to not fear change, but change our fear.

So as we recharge our hearts today, let's check in with ourselves to see if we need to work our RESILIENCE muscle perhaps a little more?

How well do we dust ourselves off and get back to our feet, with our dignity in tact when life has tripped us up with a disappointment?

Is our emotional "down time" improving slowly but surely?

Let's also remember as we take time to rate our emotional fitness that the only person we need to compare our hearts RESILIENCE to is with is the person we were yesterday, last week, las month or last time this shit happened in our lives. Did we react with the immaturity of an upset child, or respond with the grace and maturity of an adult?

I just had to conclude today's Word Vitamin with a visual of one of my most favourite female characters of RESILIENCE, the gorgeously voluptuous Joan from Mad Men!

Love her or hate her, nonetheless what a RESILIENT feast of femininity she is ... enjoy.

Re: New diagnosis

Anne Deveson had a book published about 15 years ago titled RESILIENCE. It's great. Perfect for carers to read.  Smiley Happy

Re: New diagnosis

Joint session tonight,I could have quite easily got angry for the first time ever, I feel as tho I don't deserve to be treated like this for so long,counselor told me to hold it in as he was actually in the room.
He & the counselor will be working on why he is so angry & blaming me for his illness & then I will be invited back.
We need to find a safe way to talk to each other now.

Re: New diagnosis

@MrsC you previously write about resilience, may she visit you and share her beauty Smiley Happy

MrsC
Senior Contributor

Re: New diagnosis

Thank you for reminding me about that. Unfortunately the extension for the electricity bill has now come & gone & my beautiful man is shutting down our communication to protect himself from me (I don't know details)!

Re: New diagnosis

Gosh, so much to juggle @MrsC 

I understand that you're seeing a counsellor at the moment. Have you tried a financial counsellor? They have specific expertise to support people through managing stressful financial situations like these. The Salvation Army provides financial counseling, which provides advice on how to manage legal action regarding debts, and they can provide no-interest loans too.

I loved your post about resilience. Hope you are finding strength to get through these tiring and stressful times. 

CB

Re: New diagnosis

Thanks CB I'm starting to head down this track,I'm not in a position of no money at all so I don't want to take services away from anyone worse off than myself,the advice I could do with tho.

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