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Senior Contributor

My story

Hi all,

 

This is the second time I have posted on the carers forum, while I have been part of the lived experience forum for some time due to my own mental health issues, I find that current life experiences has put me in a carers role in two separate situations.

 

So I thought I would tell a little about me and my current experiences.

 

I am 26 year old mother of a 6 almost 7 year old boy. My whole life has been a battle, abused all through childhood from the age of 3 by family and foster carers. From the age of 12 I pretty much took over the role of parenting as my mum was "absent" and my step father worked alot and practically slept the whole time he was home. 

I have 5 younger siblings including an autistic brother as well as 5 older step siblings who didn't live with us and we had very little contact. Due to this I have anxiety, depression and CPTSD. 

 

It has taken a lot of work but I am finally in control, I do still get down days but it doesn't control my life anymore. 

 

I have a partner who I have been with since grade 9 and out relationship is still strong. Our son has been my world he is literally my saving grace as I found out I was pregnant with him the day I planned to si. He gave me a reason to live and get well.

 

Since my boy has started school his teachers and dr have said that he shows signs of autism and while I seen signs here and there I didn't think he shows enough to be tested and the peadiatrician says that it is possible he could have high functioning autism but doesn't think that he needs the testing as routine and structure keeps my boy going but due to pushing from school and dr he probably going to be tested anyway.

 

I also found out that due to my mother and uncles arguments over my Nans health issues and who gets to make decisions my Nan put my name down on a document saying that I decide what happens. I know its because I have listened to what she wants and know what she wants but I feel anxious about the prospect of having to make such a decision. And it is a decision I could potentially have to make in 4 months when she goes for surgery to remove part of a noncancerous tumour near her brainstem to relieve pressure and possibly extend her life expectancy. 

 

I am also about to start studying again now that I am more mentally stable

7 REPLIES 7
Community Manager

Re: My story

Hey @BabyDragon  well done on jumping over to the carers side! Actually appears to be quite common, people jumping back and forth between the two forums with the dual experience of lived experience and caring. Hats off to you strong soul Heart Thank you so much for sharing your story, and how beautiful about your boy having such an impact on you - we are all so glad you're still here.

Your partner sounds like a good support too. The community is always here to listen about what you're going through with your Nan Heart

 

And well done on heading back to uni what will you study?

Community Manager

Re: My story

Hey @BabyDragon  well done on jumping over to the carers side! Actually appears to be quite common, people jumping back and forth between the two forums with the dual experience of lived experience and caring. Hats off to you strong soul Heart Thank you so much for sharing your story, and how beautiful about your boy having such an impact on you - we are all so glad you're still here.

Your partner sounds like a good support too. The community is always here to listen about what you're going through with your Nan Heart

 

And well done on heading back to uni what will you study?

Re: My story

Thanks @nashy ,

 

I am studying a Bachelor of counselling

Re: My story

hey @BabyDragon
im another person who frequents both sides of the forum. thank you for sharing your story with us. its great hat your feeling more mentally stable and looking to start studying again. good luck with it all, hope it goes well and we will be here to support you along the way
Community Builder

Re: My story

Thanks for sharing your carer's story @BabyDragon. It's so hard to not be anxious about being an executor for your nan, but really, you just need to ensure that her wishes are carried out as per what she's been saying (and what she wants). 

 

It sounds like you've really come along in your own journey and are really positive in caring for your son with your partner - it's great that you've got such strong support there. 

 

A Bachelor of Counselling sounds great, do you have an idea of what you want to do as a career? 

Re: My story

Thanks @outlander , I have seen you around in the other forum Im pretty sure we have talked before too but it's good to talk to someone else who also frequents both forum I think @Shaz51 is the same as well.

 

Thanks @Ali11 and I yes while it is just making sure her wishes are carried out and I know that I can respect them despite my own feelings of not wanting to. It will be very hard my nan is one of my family members I am closest to and it will be difficult to say goodbye if it happens but I also know I don't want her to suffer which she will if her wishes aren't respected and that's what my mother and uncles don't seem to understand they are just thinking about what they want and how they will feel if something happens. They are currently trying to prove that she is mentally incompetent at the time of signing said document but I don't think they will succeed anyway.

And yes my partner had been a very big part of my support system helping me to achieve what I have today I don't think I will ever be able to tell him how close he was to losing me back then but nobody realised how far down I had fallen, apparently I was really good at hiding it from people.

 

When I have finished my studies I am hoping to be a school counsellor at the local school but my long term career goal is to open my own trauma counselling practice for children and adolescents.

Re: My story

What an inspiring career goal @BabyDragon – no doubt it will be a rewarding opportunity.

 

How are you feeling about beginning your studies? Have you developed a self care plan to help you balance the stress of study with other life and carer concerns? It may be helpful for you to plan ahead if you think this might become an issue, even if it is just scheduling in time to sit with your partner or take a regular walk.

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