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Mum of 15yr old with anxiety disorder and at times depression and eating disorder as a result of ongoing anxiety

My daughter has suffered from anxiety for a very long time. We have sought help from many specialists over time. I am feeling helpless at the moment. The constant rollercoaster of emotions is relentless and exhausting. All I want is for my daughter to feel good and stay well. I’m at the point that while everyone is overjoyed and happy with her progress all I can do is cry inside knowing that she may fall again very soon. I feel like every time she manages to succeed in overcoming an effect of her anxiety that a new one rears it’s ugly head to taunt her. She is amazing and works so hard to overcome her fears and worries but as time goes on it is wearing us down. I can’t let her see all of this of course. I need her to see me as a strong support. But days like today I sit alone, exhausted and wondering what more we can do to help our beautiful girl.

4 REPLIES 4

Re: Mum of 15yr old with anxiety disorder and at times depression and eating disorder as a result of ongoing anxiety

@AnitaIt is so difficult to hide our pain or insecurity and maintain authentic intimate relationships.

Hearing you. It can be exhausting. Try and reach out for your own support too. There is more around specifically for carers.

In a family it cant be all about one person being strong with forbearance and another other getting all the positive encouragement.  That contributes to polarisation and imbalances in the family system.

 

Re: Mum of 15yr old with anxiety disorder and at times depression and eating disorder as a result of ongoing anxiety

Hi @Anita

Everyone has their bad days - it's okay to have yours and feel fed up for a bit. It is a good thing your daughter is even trying - worry if she doesn't.

I find with the mental issues with my daughter I had to accept that even with effort she can slip back. And After doing everything I could for her that I have had to step back some and emotionally distance myself. Are you pursuing your own personal goals, dream and interests? It's important to have a break from the intensity.

We will always be there for our children and eventually they will work it out. Have faith in your daughter that with her continued efforts that one day she will rise above her issues. And allow yourself reprieve by believing this too - all in time.

I have suffered anxiety all my life - I found that working on catastrophe thinking and changing those thoughts/outlook (believing the worse will happen) to more positive ones - and working on my confidence and independence - learning to believe in myself and find meaning in life, was helpful.  I have my moments but have improved dramatically. Your daughter will too with maturity, but for now be kind to you and find those things that relax you xxx

Re: Mum of 15yr old with anxiety disorder and at times depression and eating disorder as a result of ongoing anxiety

Thanks for your replies. On the worst days she says she has had enough and can’t do it anymore. Those days when she is suicidal are the times i fear the most. But thankfully we have the better times when she pulls herself back together and gets on with getting on. I’m sure you have experienced, that it is so unpredictable.
I think you are right -Enigma- she is thriving on some extra independence at the moment and it is great to see.
I know I need to take better care of me. It’s just hard to find the time or motivation. I am a FIFO wife with two other girls to take care of also. I have had to cut back my work to only 2-3 days a week because I am too unreliable if the girls ( esp. my eldest) need me. Those couple of work days keep me sane I must say.
I think my other teen is really affected by her sisters illness also. She is having a hard time at school and seems to be having friendship problems. Do you know of any good family support sessions that we could attend as a family on the north side. I think we could all use some support.
@Appleblossom @Former-Member

Re: Mum of 15yr old with anxiety disorder and at times depression and eating disorder as a result of ongoing anxiety

Bouverie Family Therapy in Travancore Melbourne.

Relationships Australia run family sessions.

 

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