Lived Experience Forum

[BlueBay]

Hi everyone 

@Owlunar  @Faith-and-Hope @Shaz51  @Flying_Hams @Gazza75 @Maggie @Zoe7 @Razzle @oceangirl @outlander @Ant7 @greenpea and others reading this 

I have 3 adult children. My D is 27 with a 2 yr old daughter and currently living with us as well as her partner 

My son is 26 and is a police officer. He moved out of home in feb this year. 

My youngest son is 23 and has just graduated in a grad diploma bus man and accounting. He works part time but keeps saying he’s moving overseas beg next year to work. He’ll either go to London Italy or Paris. So he says!!! 

I keep suggesting jobs here in Melbourne but he’s very insistent that he’s going overseas. 

This is where I struggle. As a mum I’ve brought my kids up to be in a close loving family. I know snd understand that kids can’t stsy with  me forever. And I wouldn’t want that either!!!  They have their life to live and so do I. 

Its sad ti think he’s deciding to go overseas. That’s so far away. I was a mess when he went overseas on his own two years ago. 

If this has hsppened to yiu (kids leaving home) how did you cope? 

[CheerBear]

Hey @BlueBay. My kids aren't close to being ready to leave our nest but I think about what that might be like sometimes. I'm pretty sure I'm going to tie them to at least Australia some how 😉 Overseas feels and is so far away 🙁

I don't have any experience with this but my mum heart felt sad reading your post and I just wanted to send you some hugs.

[Ant7]

@BlueBay  I am sorry I can’t be of much help. I also have 3 adult kids my son is 22 his twin sister and our youngest daughter 19. All of them are still at home and while I am in no hurry for them to leave I also want to see them make their way in the world and they know we will be there for them no matter what happens. All three of them started Uni this year and none of them have ever worked so we have to support them and while I am happy to do it it would be nice if they could help lol

[Faith-and-Hope]

It is hard @BlueBay  .... but adapt we do.  I haven’t faced the overseas challenge, but some of mine are on the other side of Australia, as is my Dad.

My bigger kids have travelled overseas without us.   It’s sonething that it takes a bit of getting used to.  Visiting helps .....

Hugs Hon ..... 💜💜💜 ... hearing you and feeling it.

[Razzle]

@BlueBay   My son and daughter left home straight after finishing high school to go to university- my daughter left 6 or 7 years ago, my son 2 years ago.  My daughters uni was 3hrs away, my sons was 4hrs away.

My daughter came back to live for a while after uni when she go a job locally, then moved into her own house (well, not hers, she was house sitting for a year).   In April this year she went overseas with her boy friend - he’s Irish so she has been there all this time since.  They came home earlier this week but will be returning to Ireland in a couple of months time where she will work for a year or 2 throughout Europe.

The world is so small now @BlueBay .  We would call each other in video chat, or just message each other.  It feels like she only left yesterday and is already back - time goes so fast.

Be proud you raised a son that is confident to spread his wings and fly.  If they don’t travel while they’re young, they never will.  

Like you, I didn’t raise my kids to be stuck here with me.  Be excited that he’s going - because it won’t be long before he’ll be back ❤️❤️

[Faith-and-Hope]

Yes @BlueBay  @Razzle  .... tech visiting helps to keep us close - text each other all the time, and the kids even use a game console to play digital games together across the km’s ..... and Skype can be exciting, especially for little A for whom it will seem magical.

[greenpea]

@BlueBay  Hey BlueBay my eldest is in Germany and has been for 7 years. He has just applied for a job now in USA. When he first moved to Germany I was too sick with mi to notice really was going through a mucky dirvoce, staying with my mother, life was in turmoil so was best for him to be away and living his own life.

He comes and visits now once a year and it is fantastic to see him. Plus we skype and stuff so it is like he is still really here in australia just maybe living in a different city. I know it hurts at the beginning but once your son is settled he will be able to be in constant contact with you via internet and whatsapp etc and I am sure he will visit. Love peaxx

[BlueBay]

Thsnks everyone for your support snd kind words. 

@greenpea @Faith-and-Hope @Razzle @Ant7 @CheerBear 

I think this is one of the hardest things as a mum - to let go of your children. My youngest is an amazing help to me. He washes the dishes, he’ll cook a meal for us sll, he is so funny yet caring. 

When he decides to go overseas of course I’ll be sad and teary but it’s his life journey. Something I could never stop. Might be a good excuse to visit him 😊

@Ant7 totally understand what you’re saying. It’s hard supporting 3 adult kids at home especially while they’re studying. But it’s nice to have them home for as long as they want. (Well not too long!!!) 😂 

[Shaz51]

@BlueBay 

I have 4 step children who have stayed and gone and came back again and now that they are all adults now , it has been hard seeing them go

but we can still keep in touch and to let them know that they can come back anytime

our next big family get together is in december wher all out children are coming for their grandma`s 85th birthday party

it will be soo good  and these are the times you hold tight too @BlueBay until next time xx