Lived Experience Forum

[kenny66]

HI Jake, your so right people always make excuses under these circumstances. Truth is being an alcoholic is more acceptable that having an MI to a lot of people. As I said earlier I tell everyone upfront about my MI for better or for worse. Saves me a lot of hassles.

kenny

[kristin]

True, people don't like you to name the elephant(s) in the room. But it is much healthier than pretending they aren't there.

I think that one of the gifts of this forum is we are experiencing a collective voice in a way that has not been possible before. This is a very powerful thing. What are the chances that we would ever meet even one other person on this forum out in the street/community?

Best regards,

Kristin

[kristin]

You are spot on there Kenny,

Unfortunately it is a huge thing for some of us to "come out". I mostly feel like I couldn't give a damn what people think, but some of that is because I tend to be a bit manic at the moment. I also have to remind myself of the likelihood of multiple impacts on my kids:

• "friends" teasing them
• other parents making unkind remarks in their hearing
• teachers treating them or me differently
• being dismissed due to my MI when there are significant issues to be dealt with at school

and that's just for starters. So I am a bit cautious - it's taken me 50 years to be ok with this, and it's hard enough being the child of someone with a MI without me adding to it.

Best regards,

Kristin

[kenny66]

Hi Kristin

Yes I understand that. If I was in your circumstances I would be exactly the same. Being single I don't have issues with my kids being picked on, But if I did have kids I wouldn't take the risk either.

Whilst I tell everyone that's not saying I don't have any adverse responses because of it.

I am pretty obviously "different". with my unusual behaviour and all the jazz that can go with schizophrenia sometimes. But most people are pretty good with it and people like the chemist and the guy at the newsagent and the fruit shop guys along with a lot of others give me plenty of latitude in the behaviour stakes.

A lot of times I can usually get a good laugh out of them with some of the things I say.

Regards

Kenny

[Jake]

Kenny,

You make more sense to me that most people I know!

Keep up the good work mate and good on you for being yourself!

Regards, Jake

[NikNik]

Hi Jake,


It's an interesting one re: your band member.

It raises the question for me... what do you do when you think your friend may be experiencing mental health difficulties... how do you approach the topic... how do you encourage them to seek help?

What I've increasingly recognised is that I have more understanding about mental health and have greater 'mental health literacy' than my friends who work in other sectors. Mental illnesses have been normalised in my world, because of my experience, study and job essentially. Sometimes I forget my level of comfort talking about mental illness, is not the same as others. They haven't had the exposure I have and an understanding of mental illness.

This means sometimes when I discuss mental health issues, some people can't relate to them, they don't understand... even if they are displaying "symptoms". Don't get me wrong, I don't walk around diagnosing my friends, but for some, they don't make the connection between the behaviour or what they are experiencing, with mental health difficulties. I don't think of this as being in denial, unwilling to take responsibility or ashamed, I truly believe it's a lack of awareness and eduction. 

It's an interesting one - I think it's very easy for us to forget that people don't experience/talk about/exposed to mental health every day, so have a very low awareness.

....and then there's just people who aren't ready for help... and being there for them is all we can do.

Ah... it's complicated huh!

[Jake]

@NikNik wrote:

Hi Jake,
Hi Nik - see responses below in pink- (disclaimer - please excuse me if I come across as too 'clinical', this is a side effect of my DID, an ability to disassociate from the emotive side of my brain and engage the logic - it helps me to analyze the situation, but perhaps doesn't help others to understand me). 

It's an interesting one re: your band member.

It raises the question for me... what do you do when you think your friend may be experiencing mental health difficulties... how do you approach the topic... how do you encourage them to seek help?

Yes, good question, this has happened a number of times to me already, but at the end of the day, it doesn't matter how it is carved up, there are only two options: 1) say something 2) don't say something.

If I chose option 2, the behaviour (however it manifests) continues. If I chose option 1, I have been met with defensiveness. This indicates to me an awareness of the issue on some level. Assuming the person is unreasonable (i.e. they can't/won't listen to reason) it has been said - "you can't use reason with an unreasonable person").

What I've increasingly recognised is that I have more understanding about mental health and have greater 'mental health literacy' than my friends who work in other sectors. Mental illnesses have been normalised in my world, because of my experience, study and job essentially. Sometimes I forget my level of comfort talking about mental illness, is not the same as others. They haven't had the exposure I have and an understanding of mental illness.

I dare say the level of understanding shown by others to MI issues is directly proportional to their exposure to it. Coming from the perspective of a MI sufferer for 20 years (since diagnoses) I can hold a conversation with my GP and come away thinking anecdotally that I know more about the subject than the person does. When I quote MI facts I watch the reaction and the answers usually indicate to me the level of awareness. 

This means sometimes when I discuss mental health issues, some people can't relate to them, they don't understand... even if they are displaying "symptoms". Don't get me wrong, I don't walk around diagnosing my friends, but for some, they don't make the connection between the behaviour or what they are experiencing, with mental health difficulties. I don't think of this as being in denial, unwilling to take responsibility or ashamed, I truly believe it's a lack of awareness and eduction. 

I understand about 'diagnosing my friends', yes the connection is not there, now whether they are aware is another question. The trouble is, whenever I have 'made them aware' (ignoring the philosophical question if it is indeed up to me to make them aware) I am met with denial. Rhetorically speaking, how can someone deny something unless they are aware ot it on some level??

It's an interesting one - I think it's very easy for us to forget that people don't experience/talk about/exposed to mental health every day, so have a very low awareness.

This whole discussion of awareness interests me greatly - I am often accused of 'making issues' of things that are beyond other people's awareness. Apparently I am a HSP (hypersensitive person) and notice far more than I am able to process, which overloads my sensory system. When I mention issues (that I am aware of) to other people in authority, the usual response is - "what problem"? The obvious (unspoken) response is - "just because you are not aware of a problem, does not mean that it does not exist".

....and then there's just people who aren't ready for help... and being there for them is all we can do.

Ah yes, the old moral dilemma - 'even if a person is clearly suffering from MI issues, we can't force them to seek help if they don't want it' (unless they are a threat to themself or society I believe).

Ah... it's complicated huh!

Yep and it is my belief that people sometimes make it much more complicated than it needs to be - why can't we sit down and discuss this adult to adult?

e.g. My adult children won't/don't speak with me, I assume they have not considered that I may be unwell. I belive they may think I choose to somehow 'be this way', like MI is something I 'chose' to have. The irony is one of them has a MI.

Regards, Jake 

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[Former-Member]

Hi, I agree about the freedom of the forum. I came here because I was tired of the pretentious aspects of other "help" places. I like what I've seen so far here. People need a place to be heard and share and not get tangled in red tape restrictions that leave them receiving no help at all.

On another level, I don't mean to be rude but you said you have PD do you know if that condition can be mistaken for schizophrenia? My "mother-in-law" told me her son has schizophrenia but I'm not so sure it is...however changes in personality is apparent. Do you have any advice or remarks on that idea? I'd appreciate any feedback. All the best. Good luck.