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mick_1234
Casual Contributor

Had enough.

I know that these forums are supposed to help people but I don't think that they help at all. I am so bitter about seeing doctors and trying medications that I refuse to see anyone new, because they won't be able to help anyway. It is just spending more money for nothing. I have seen 4 psychiatrists, 3 psychologists, undergone 2 sleep studies, 14 sessions of ECT and many, many different medications over the last 15 years, and I am sitting here more depressed than I have ever been. The only outcome of ECT was loss of short term memory. I have tried 11 different medications and none of these have helped my depression, anxiety or OCD.  There is just no help out there. I am sick of being used as a guinea pig. My depression is the worst it has ever been. I just want to feel happy and alive. My fatigue is so debilitating. I have just had enough of it all. It is all just a waste of time, there is absolutely nothing that can help.

13 REPLIES 13

Re: Had enough.

Welcome @mick_1234

you sound exhausted Smiley Sad

I'm sorry it's been such a rough trot for you, but amongst all that I do hear the desire for things to be different! It must be your turn right?

What has been your carrot (drive) amongst all of this?

I do hope that you find that you're not alone in your experiences through this forum.

You might like to read a recent conversation between members about depression here

http://www.saneforums.org/t5/Our-experience-stories/Depression-and-isolation/m-p/36248/highlight/tru...

Best wishes

Re: Had enough.

@mick_1234 I totally get your frustration with the mental health system. I haven't had anywhere near as many guinea pig experiences as you and yet it was out of frustration that I found these forums.

I was so over reading the "psychologist" definition of bipolar disorder again, and again, and again! Everytime I searched for help with understanding my bipolar or tips for managing it, all I could find was that same definition regurgitated and reccomendations for various meds. I wanted to know what was happening to my body, what caused it to feel the way it did, how that feels for others, how to manage the physical symptoms. what others did to help them cope and figure out their triggers.

Good news is, I found that there was a lot of expertise her on these forums from people who have actually been living through this stuff, not just studying it. And I personally found that it so far has helped me to feel less isolated just comparing my symptoms with others.

Re: Had enough.

Hi @mick_1234

how was your day?

What's a normal day like for you?

I get the sense from your writing that you haven't been heard in the mental health system.

What is it that you would most like those working in the system to know, and more specifically to know about you?

Re: Had enough.

Thank you very much for your reply. My days are totally consumed by fatigue and feelings of "I don't care".

All of the psychiatrists I have seen just seem to prescribe medication. As I mentioned I have been on many many different meds all of which haven't helped. I sometimes feel that I just need to talk and for some-one to tell me that I am OK. I know that I am a good person, but I just feel useless. I really feel like I need to be reassured that it is OK to be me and that I am not a bad person. I honestly thought that ECT would be a life saver for me. I actually found that it was like a factory, there was no real care, even from my attending psychiatrist.  For a while I have been thinking of moving to the country, just so that I can be alone.

I think the biggest issue is that I need to be heard, everything is not alright and I need some-one to listen and not just prescribe medication because they think it will fix the problem. I understand that I may need some medication, but not all of the issues I am dealing with can be helped with medication.

Thank you for listening

Re: Had enough.

Thank you for taking the time to reply. I am just fed up with feeling so low 24 hours a day

Re: Had enough.

I agree that not all Mi problems can be dealt with through medication.  Sometimes GPs are aware of the personal styles pf psych's in their areas.  It is worth asking to see a persona who also uses psychotherapy techniques as part of their treatment.

Welcome to the forum and good luck @mick_1234

Re: Had enough.

@mick_1234

So glad you replied Smiley Happy

That sounds horrendous, what has kept you going? How have you coped? Do you have animals?

You must have such a strong internal drive to keep persisting, putting one foot in front of the other!

I have heard similar complaints about psychiatrists, so no doubt you are not alone there.

Maybe the support you need is of the talking type.

I believe there is real healing in being heard and validated, everybody deserves that.

Has anybody ever suggested the Pham's (personal helpers and mentors) service to you, or do you know anything about it? Check it out here

https://www.dss.gov.au/our-responsibilities/mental-health/programs-services/personal-helpers-and-men...

Pham's programs also uniquely employ some workers with a lived experience.

Let me know what you think. Any other members using or used a Pham's service?

 

Re: Had enough.

Hi,

I have two little dogs that keep me going. I couldn't live without them. Somtimes I really want to go to sleep and not wake up, and then I think of my dogs and how much I would miss them and I don't want them to be alone, so they keep me going.

Thanks

 

Re: Had enough.

That makes sense .. what kind of dogs are they .. I cant keep dogs as my house is small .. so I have cats.

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