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Casual Contributor

First time posting

Hi all,
I'm new to the world of BPD as my younger sister was just recently diagnosed after 2 self harm attempts and a stay in a psychiatric hospital. It's been a really hard time and she is dealing with her diagnosis amazingly and we are both doing tonnes of research! But she has had an old high school guy reach out to her as a fellow sufferer and she is now socialising with him and is calling him a special friend and an amazing person but it's only been a reconnection of a few weeks and she wasn't friends with him in high school! I'm worried about this as if it falls apart she will fall again and it seems she is losing focus on her recovery? She feels awesome and I'm happy for her and I want to support this new friendship but I want her more excited about her kids and their new life with her diagnosis ? Any advice is welcomed


Re: First time posting

Hi @London,

I'm Fancy_Pants and I would like to welcome you to the forums!! 

It sounds like your family have been through some really difficult times but that you and your sister have a really close bond which is lovely. I definietly understand your confusion it can be hard to know when to step forward and intervene and when to step back... you want to make sure the person you love is making good decisions and being influenced in a positive way but you also want to trust their judgement and not take over. so finding that balencing act for support is tricky...

All the members here are supporting a person they love and I know we have a number of members who might be able to offer some support personal experience / advice around helping someone with this diagnosis @Kiera80 @Leigh @Jacob101 @Valda @Alessandra1992

and there are threads like this one  and this one and this

- does anyone have some kind words for @London?

Re: First time posting

Hi London. It's tough because in my experience looking after someone with bpd they are often distracted by the next best thing ... Be it a new friend, a new job and obsessing over a new project. That in many ways is the nature of the beast. I wouldn't worry that much, after all that circumstance is better than the alternative when they are down. You would hope this guy has some insight into the risk of sudden withdrawal etc. Is it something you could casually mention to him so he understands your concern? I'm forever ringing my ex's new friends and making them aware he can't go near cannabis etc (sometimes they font listen). At the end of the day there is just so much us carers can do ! Look after yourself. J

Re: First time posting

Thanks Jacob! I would feel better if I knew him and could have that conversation with him! As that's my worry, whether she is his new "project" and then he drifts away ! I want to speak to her about but it's such a fine line !

Re: First time posting

Thank you @Fancy_Pants I appreciate your help !!

Re: First time posting

Hi @London

I just wanted to let you know that tonight's Topic Tuesday will focus on BPD. You can join the conversation here  at 7pm AEST. In the meantime, check out the introduction and information for the session here


I hope we 'see' you there!

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