Lived Experience Forum

[Zoe7]

For me @Matt12 it has been the opposite with my pdoc - we have worked on moving forward without having to go back as going back is too hard. I see the benefit in going over past hurt to be able to work through it but also the benefit in living for the here and now and looking forward. That does not mean that there are not times when the past intrudes into the present but I am learning skills to be able to deal with those memories/flashbacks/hurt and out it into persepctive as to where I am now. We are shaped by our past but our past does not define us.

[Shaz51]

hugs @Matt12 , we are here for you my friend

[eth]

Sending warm wishes @Meowmy  and @Matt12 @greenpea @Zoe7 @Faith-and-Hope 

@Meowmy  and @Matt12   My psychologist says 'you have to feel it to heal it' ... I hope you can feel safe and supported in the process of recognizing the impact the past has on the present, and work towards having goals for your future.  Sending peace and courage.

I've been doing EMDR at about half my sessions with the psychologist and after years of seeing other psychologists and basically remaining in a holding pattern and not really recovering, I am feeling the progress at last.  I am not as extremely triggered by some things and when I am I recover faster than I used to.  I know it's not for everyone but from my own experience I recommend looking into it.

[Appleblossom]

@Meowmy You have chosen to care for your mother and that is a great way to gain perspective and distance while honouring the positives in the relationship.  It can take a long time to face the level of manipulation and/or betrayal in those close relationships. Looking back, looking forward and being present is often the best we can do.  

[Meowmy]

@greenpea @You are such a positive person. Definitely not easy to be a good mum. It is very hard for me to see my mother in her true colours . Even harder not to emotionally rely and bond to her. She has been good when I was very sick. My sickness not entirely due to my parents, I am and have a lot of weakness in my character, biology. Then I never had the nurture or support to get stronger. I guess I had a very low starting point in life.

But now the forum gives me so much care and support. Every morning, your walks inspires me so much. I think your daughter will have better chances than me, having a great mum.

Uni will be good. When I was there, I had some good friends and enjoyed learning, I am grateful life gives me a chance holding onto a good job.

I keep you all in my daily prayers. Things will work out for all of us.

Wish you a great day

[Meowmy]

@Appleblossom @eth @Shaz51 @Zoe7 @Matt12 @Faith-and-Hope Thank you all for great support and care. Being born into a family which is very dysfunctional and parents who were selfish, weak, calculatively totally controlling, I had a very low starting point in life. I am grateful I was granted an education to help me understand the world and my position in it, and can hold onto a reasonable job.

But I never had any chance to intimate  relationship, children.

I don’t have much at all going for me personally.

But I can help others with similar experiences.

I mourn the loss of dreams of my own family, children. But I will love every day in a positive way. @greenpea 

[greenpea]

@Meowmy  thank you Meowmy for your kind words :). I really try and be a positive role model for my children. I am far from perfect but I keep trying and always tell my children how fantastic they are and how proud of them I am etc. There is never a day that goes by without me giving them some kind of afirmation of how perfect I think they are. I hope that it helps them. One can only try. Love greenpea xxxx

[greenpea]

@Meowmy  Hugs and hugs Meowmy xxxx

[Appleblossom]

@Meowmy It is important to find meaning in life without the drive of caring for children.  Having an education does help in many ways.  Hugs from me too 

[Meowmy]

@greenpea That helps me a lot. My mum put me down a lot. But she is still better than my father. To know your children get loving words from you daily is such an inspiration. Love is such powerful energy. I am sure your children will do well. You are such a special person. Thanks for everything.