Lived Experience Forum

[eth]

@Mazarita hearing you about the 'denial' feelings.  I used to have swings of that too.   But I can now see how much the help I get improves things for me and I have no guilt about receiving it.  My family pays a lot of tax!!

[eth]

@Mazarita  I think those goals are fantastic!  Perhaps add 'and other essential errands and appointments' to no. 5   

I'm still really happy for you that you have such an effective support/advocate.  It makes all the difference.

[Mazarita]

@eth I think that they have already made a decision with me that I need the help and it's just a question now of how much help. Your sense of surrender just before you went into the two meetings seems like it was a wise mind/feeling decision at a moment most helpful.

[Mazarita]

Thanks for your encouraging words about my goals, @eth. I have added 'and other essential errands' to no. 5. I seem able to mostly get myself to appointments. I have recovered somewhat since the start of last year, just that its been going in slow inches forward.

Still trying to come to terms with being 'that' disabled, facing it inspires sadness.

But I am only day 4 of a new anti-depressant, at half the clinical dose. Feeling a bit down, but I knew I wouldn't suddenly be grand.

[eth]

You're right, you're already across the line @Mazarita ... and I totally know what the swings and roundabouts of feelings of sadness etc vs hope can feel like.  I'm looking forward with you to the day your plan budget is finalised and comes through and you can spend your energy focusing on things you would like to do with it, knowing that you can.  It's a wonderful feeling.

I'm only here for another 10 min or so.

[eth]

@Mazarita  hope your adjustment to the new med settles down soon for you.  I'm on quite a cocktail these days but they do seem to keep me reasonably stable.  When I swing it's not as extreme and it doesn't last as long.

[eth]

@Mazarita  as always, it's been fabulous to chat in real time with you.  Not sure when next I'll be on here - I don't usually come on every day any more.  Depends how things go tomorrow morning.  I try to limit my commitments to 2 things a day and 2 days a week of no things.  Roughly.  But it's lovely knowing we will do this again in the near future.  Take good care my friend xx

[Mazarita]

Thanks, @eth. Lovely talking today. Enjoy your dinner. 

[Appleblossom]

@Mazarita Hello

Good to see your chat with @eth 

Just watching random stuff online. 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kF1GsAHBzeY 

[Mazarita]

Hi @Appleblossom cool with the random stuff. Used to love going on random web trips learning about things, for example, on Wikipedia, going link to random link following trails of curiousity, never knew where I was going to end up. The effects of the net on the world seem bad in some ways, and so damn good in others.

Went for a couple of hours sleep around twilight. All nighter last night.