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Re: A long rave

@eth cool with the journal, sounds like you are deeply and consistently developing your writing, so pleased to see that happening. Onwards and upwards, my friend! Smiley Happy

Re: A long rave

Hi @eth need to sign off again. Gut hurting in this chair. See you next time, lovely to get a bit longer chat today. Heart

Re: A long rave

@Mazarita  prior to covid withdrawal I was doing live readings monthly with the local writers centre at the main art gallery in town.  Won a small prize a couple of times which boosted me no end.  Since March the only sharing of my work I've done has been in smaller writing groups on zoom.  I don't publish it online as it's often a criterion for competitions that it not be published anywhere yet.  I entered 2 comps last year and am thinking of going in for another one very soon.  I don't even put them on the forums as if I do get published at some stage it could identify me.  

This last month I've written 2 pieces which I've had amazing feedback on.  One of them I then wrote a longer letter in response to, which I sent to J effectively ending our connection.  We'd been having a long-distance thing for over a year after him eventually telling me he should never have let me go. 

The other one is only 8 words long and came out of lots of note taking and research from my experiences in response to a quote "Our lives may be determined less by past events than the way we remember them".  That sure brought up a lot for me around manias, psychoses and the way those who witnessed or were affected by my behaviours would sometimes tell me what 'really' happened ... the difference between the two sometimes astounding.  As you know, what happens when we are having an episode is very real to us, no matter how differently others interpret events.

I'm rambling.  Hope you're still here.

Re: A long rave

@Mazarita  hope you feel better soon lovely.  I like that no matter whether we coincide or not we can have a stimulating dialogue.  Take care xx

Re: A long rave

Good morning, @eth 

 

When I was here before Covid, I seem to remember you were just starting to do live readings. That's not easy for someone with social anxiety! Proud of you that it developed rapidly into monthly readings. You had also already won a prize back then before I had the gap time on the forum. Was proud of you then for it and knew it would encourage you. Wonderful that there have been more. I think the best thing about awards is the confidence building, helping us feel stronger, and affirming that other people find value in what we do as well.

 

I am planning to go to a poetry event next month to read my personal poetry for the first time ever. I have spoken publicly before but my poetry is especially intimate to me, so it feels more naked sharing it. Looking forward to my first go at sharing it out loud.

 

The recent development of publishing my poems to my blog has actually kicked started some more writing of poetry as well. These I am not sharing here on the forum for the same reason as you. The others written here years ago are in my calculation pretty much buried now in the massive archive of posts at this site. I have also edited them considerably before putting them on my blog.

 

Back before my gap time, I remember you and J had recently been in contact again. I do not know exactly why you decided to end it, but I know that there were imbalances there from what you've said before.

 

Your short poem comes in just one word less than my shortest! Some people I've been getting feedback from since I started publishing have actually found that one especially powerful. Interesting that so few words can be effective. Generally I write short poems and that's what I like to read too.

 

That quote about past events and how we remember them is so true.

 

My gut pain got quite bad yesterday, went to bed after signing off and that eased the pain. A lot less pain so far today, fingers crossed it improves even more. Rang Mum yesterday (who also has Crohns) and she thought it was because of the high distress I was experiencing the two days before.

 

No plans here today, or almost all week. I actually pulled out of my gentle yoga group because of their 80% attendance rule. I only did one class and missed three, partly to do with physical illness, partly my mental health. They hadn't removed me yet from the class but I was experiencing too much stress and anxiety over my non-attendance and so I pulled out myself.

 

I ended up writing an email to my support worker that she wanted to pass on to management and I gave permission for that. I talked about how their attendance rule was unhelpful to me and actually worked to reduce my confidence in my ability to attend things that would help me at this time. I said that same may well be the case for some of their other clients. I really liked the first class but the attendance rule triggered mounting stress and self-sabotage about getting there. If the NDIS comes through for me I am hoping for individual sessions with a specialist in yoga for people with mental and physical disabilities.

 

Until next time, my friend. ox

Re: A long rave

Hi @eth @Exoplanet @greenpea @Appleblossom @Shaz51 @Adge @outlander @Faith-and-Hope @Zoe7 @Emelia8 @Bow and all,

 

Big news for me today: I was approved for the NDIS. Two-hour planning meeting with them in a couple of weeks, after which they decide what they will give me to help my ongoing situation. Feeling very pleased and hopeful about the support I may be able to access now, and that it may now be an ongoing thing in my life. Smiley Very Happy

Re: A long rave

🎉🎈 So pleased for you @Mazarita .... ❣️

 

Incidentally I have just had D2's planning meeting, although she was approved a year ago - waiting to see if soon2bx is going to throw any spanners in the works before the plan is submitted for NDIS approval.  It won't be a good look for him if he does.

Re: A long rave

Great news about the NDIS @Mazarita 😄💖👍

Re: A long rave

@Mazarita  wonderful news Mazzy!:D Love peaxxx

Re: A long rave

@Emelia8  Hey beautiful hoping you are doing okay. Thinking of you. Love peaxxxHeart

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