Lived Experience Forum

[Former-Member]

@Appleblossom 

At one point i downloaded all the sheet music for all these songs off

Online sheet music.

It allowed me to change keys too altho ones ive suggested r all mezzo ones.

I did some sop ones & dropped them a tone.

I also did jazz & balads this way as i sang a lot from 30-40's era in nursing homes & retirement villages

[Maggie]

Thinking of you today @eth . 💕💕💕💕 🤞🤞🤞

[Jenn4]

Thanks for the tag @eth ! Haven’t been on in a while but back here now for some advice (I’ll tag you). Thanks a lot for your love and care now and always. I have been doing well these past few months (I’ve met a boy amongst other factors but he was the main by far, he helps me far more than he knows 🙂 ). I hope you have been doing well too. ((I am scared of relapsing though but come what may, she’ll be right 🙂 ) Sending my love and care to all too. 🙂 

[eth]

Good morning to all here this morning.  May today be gentle and rewarding.

Hi @Gazza75  @Exoplanet @Maggie  and thanks heaps for the encouragement.

Exo my adult child has recovered incredibly well and much faster than I could have imagined.  Able to do everything they need to again (a lot with a 5 and a 1 year old).  And much happier with their new body and body image - happier generally which is wonderful to see.

Hello @Former-Member and @Appleblossom  you two really seem to speak the same language.  I'm glad you found each other.

Hi also to @Jenn4  nice to see you return.  I'll look out for your tag.  Lovely to hear you've met someone and it's working well for you.

Hello call outs also to @Zoe7 @CheerBear @Teej @Lauz @greenpea @outlander @Shaz51 @Faith-and-Hope @frog @Mazarita @nashy @s-jay @Sophia1 @Exoplanet @Owlunar  and many more I could tag here .... without you all and the growth and recovery you've helped me achieve I wouldn't have been able to do what I did yesterday.  I did a 1 1/2 hour presentation to the womens group of the local disability alliance about Recognition and Recovery from Abuse.  It was powerful stuff and an amazing sharing experience with the group who were there.  We talked about 11 different forms of abuse, gaslighting, grooming,a bill of rights for women, personal rights for anyone if they are to be in a healthy relationship, qualities of healthy relationships, personal boundaries, self-nurturing, and resources for help.  Naturally people's experiences came out along the way.  It was more of a discussion than a lecture.  Another woman co-facilitated with me and she did the last part about self-care.  She had made up little goodie bags for everyone with some beautiful symbolism around each thing in the bags.  Plus between the two of us we had lists of over 130 self-nurturing activities!!  As I had thought there was potential to happen, one of the women became very weepy while we were doing the types of abuse - everyone rallied around her in the most beautiful way.  She kept saying "it's just so validating".  Then when the other woman did the recovery part of the session she had everyone in the room laughing loudly a few times, including the one who had been so upset.  So overall it seemed to be very helpful for those present and I did not feel out of my depth.  The bits of my story that surfaced during the session were shared briefly and I didn't get swamped by my own feelings at any stage (a miracle!).  Once home again I checked in with the group about how they were doing afterwards and they all know they can reach out to me if they want to.  I don't feel I will be taking on too much, more that I can be a source of referral to services and supports out there.  We have 2 pages of phone numbers and online supports that will be shared with the group too.

Thankyou so much everyone here for helping me get to a place where the awful life experiences I've had mean I can help educate and support others and hopefully prevent some from going down similar pathways.

[Faith-and-Hope]

That is aall so wonderful to hear @eth.  Thank you so much for sharing.

💐💕

[outlander]

Morning @eth
Thats really good to hear 👏👏💕💕
Morning everyone 👋

[Former-Member]

@eth 

Well done eth

Such a long long rd of recovery uv walked to get to this point tho.

Just sad in 2019 this crap still continues

Im sure theres more awareness & supports out there now tho

Ive got EMDR this am. Not sure if we r going over stuff or doing a session.

+ a bit of homework for aqua. Slowly getting it done & not stressing too much with it . thanks to right meds

Enjoy ur day

[eth]

You have a good day too @Former-Member .  Hope your session with the psychologist is a productive one.

[Former-Member]

@eth 

You were right psychologist had to do another session of EMDR on army incident.

This time it was about me standing my ground in the crt room.

I could see the female officers were amazed that i was sticking up for rights as women in the army age 19.

I was so strong at 19 to stand there & stick with my story to defend women.

Thats also why they discharged me.

I didnt realise what they were doing.

All i knew was to stand & tell the truth of what happened.

& its exactly why the dva claim needs to go in cause i didnt deserve to lose my job cause i didnt sleep with my boss.

I was right back then.

Its interesting as i was asked today to go & do exercise classes for free somewhere. It really upset me so i had to say no. 

Its all cause i spent so much $ fixing my body after everyone telling me it couldnt be fixed.

Hundreds i spent on massages too.

However i was willing to do the work to fix my body. Its enabled me to be able to work as a lollipop lady. Its some income & now someone expected me to care about other more than myself.

All my life i was raised to care about the others & not myself.

When i had absolutely nothing no1 was there giving to me, rather the opposite.

For me its all about speaking out & receiving because giving i already do.

So what he helped me see was that i was strong back then. Too strong for that era. Today saying no was just proof i am getting better at setting boundaries & standing my ground. 

[Former-Member]

@Appleblossom 

Had another EMDR session on the army incident.

It was needed cause there was still pain & unclarity.

Today really helped me see i didnt sleep with my boss. I set a boundary he didnt like it so found another way to control me. This time i was in the crt room & i could see that the female officers felt very guilty cause they knew i was sticking up for womens right when i was only 19. It helped me c how strong i was back then. 

& why this claim is important because i shouldnt have lost my job at all.

Its why it upset me so much cause i was happy in the army cause i finally was away from family & had financial security. I lost everything after it all because i refused to sleep with my boss.

Its all power & control issues.

Anyway glad i had another session with it cause it helped me see i was right back then to stand my ground. Its really important for me to keep saying no & setting boundaries