17-10-2019 01:50 PM
Each year he seems to go in and out of psychosis. Whether he ends up in hospital or not, it is never the right time to address the this onset with him, for him to have any insight or for him to do anything about it (like seeing a gp). What on earth do you do or say in this situation? Becoming a burdern, an annoyance, unpredictable, acts weird and makes people think he is not ok, over reacts, outbursts of anger, thinks "everything happens to him" and that he is targeted, thinks into everything way too much and then needs to talk it out (which is a very long long conversation and hard to cut him off).
Do you just sit back, watch and wait and then only then, are they are danger to themselves or others, that you can call for help (which no family EVER wants to do). Is honesty the best key. Tell the person that noone likes them because of the things I listed above? What if that makes them feel helpless and want to end their life? How could we live with ourselves?
18-10-2019 12:03 AM - edited 18-10-2019 12:04 AM
Not as long but on a similar rollercoaster. Not many "ups" in our world, "level" is the best we can manage with "dips" that drag us down. And yes, the overthinking, those long debriefs and patterns of thought that repeat over and over are so wearing. I think the kind of honesty you're contemplating won't improve anything, he won't get it. And you may well be the only one he sort-of trusts. Keep at the meds, watch for the triggers, stick the CATT number on the wall and phone them when it's all getting out of control. Find a good clinical psychologist, one who really understands psychosis, and not for him to see but for you to talk to. Perhaps you've already done all those things.
18-10-2019 09:23 AM
HI. I really appreciate the response and thankyou for the bit about honesty "he will not get it". To be honest its a bit releiving because I dont really want to have the "talk".
He does not take meds. As soon as the CTO was over, he continued with the injections for a month and then just stopped. He thinks that on medication he doesnt feel anything yet everyone thinks he was fine. This is why we suffer through this day in and day out because of his choices. I am so over it. I hate waiting for something bad to happen. Yep I'm definately getting some personal help.
18-10-2019 11:18 AM
One of the benefits of two hospital stays is that my son never wants to go back there and he takes the meds. Struggled mightily with all the unpleasant side effects and eventually stabilised after a long time (it took years). He still has relapses, used to be every two years and then every year. I'm sure we couldn't manage without the meds plus support from a good psych. Anger and shouting aren't part of the picture here but there's an awful lot of accommodating in an effort to keep stresses down. Fully understand your "so over it" comment. A former work colleague had to get his son moved to some kind of supported living arrangement after his son completely trashed the house. He also had a trustee arrangement set up to manage finances. I don't know any details, may that be worth looking into.
18-10-2019 12:55 PM
3 admissions at our end and every time accuses us of "putting him there", but at this stage that is not a deterent for him to take medication unfortunatley. Its disappointing that there is no social work or case management following up once somone is out of the system. He only had to have F/N then monthly app to go with the injections and then he was cut loose once the CTO was over and he chose to go off meds!. Yes definately alot of accomodating to keep stresses down or even avoid them. How do show them that you love and support them and want to know they are ok but you dont actually want to hear about it UNLESS they are willing to use your support and get help.?
20-10-2019 12:13 AM
Hi @Hopeless I was/am in a similar position. Husband has been hospitalised twice this year due to psychosis and is notorious for stopping meds to. The most recent admission He didn't want meds so they forced them. When in hospital he became a little reasonable and i laid out my cards. I was blunt and honest. I said I can't take the unpredictable behaviour around the kids, I don't care if you don't accept your diagnosis just keep taking the meds and if he doesn't I'll walk. I know it's mean but I struggle to. It felt good to say. He's been out for a few months on meds but Still doesn't see the need for them though 🙄
It hard to sit and listen to them blame you for their hospitalisation but I tell myself it's for their own good. When In an episode they say the most hurtful things I try to remind myself it's not him speaking. It's hard to not be cared for and always being the career and be the sole person responsibe for reducing stress in the house.
I sat with his team and explained my fear of him off meds. They said that they will bring him in if he misses them. he was meant to be sent to his gp but I was still worried and his lack of acceptance and his track record of staying on meds they have kept him under their wing and have moved him to long term out patient. I don't know how they can do that but it helps me. I'm also lucky he has a great case worker I can call when worried. hopefully you can get a good team and some support yourself xx. I'm with a mental health carers group where I can have therapy and support maybe you can find something similar in your state?
Don't know if this helps in any way but always here if you need a chat xx
21-10-2019 08:15 AM
Hello NTCAB and thankyou. It's nice just knowing someone else is out there who can acknowledge how I am feeling. Its hard to talk to family because everyone is effected and struggling in their own way.
He mentioned suicide for the first time over the weekend (not to be directly but to my parents). They are sad and feel sick with worry, but we agreed there was not really much we can do. Obviously they say if someone is at risk of harming themselves or others then you call the police or acute care team, but again, he must give his consent.
Unfortunately when unwell or even well, he does not give his consent to the hospital for anyone to speak with us and therefore, they are unable to tell us anything. They can give very generic advice but thats about it. And the system here, does not take anyone under their wing because really, the patient has choice. There was a relapse prevention plan put in place after the last two times, however, he is already too far gone to accept that this is happening again, so that is useless to us now.
I'm sorry to hear you are on this battle also, but I draw strength from your strength, so thankyou.
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