Friends, Family & Carers Forum

[Kesa]

@Untethered, thank-you. Your expression of empathy and understanding means so much to me. We have many well meaning friends and family who ask how it's going, and they are surprised it isn't "fixed" or all sorted now. Or tell me it is just her way of exerting control over us - the implication being that a good "kick in the rear" might help. Thank you for sharing your journey with me - I am so glad things are starting to turn a corner for you.

[Kesa]

@perseverer, thank-you so much for sharing your story and for your words of support. What a long, difficult journey you have been on with your son! My daughter doesn't have a diagnosis of OCD, but occasionally displays some tendencies. Nothing to the extent you have gone through though. Sending all my best to you as well.

[Kesa]

Thanks to everyone who has provided some kind words of support on this thread. I am feeling particularly flat today. My daughter was referred to a six month programme of intensive therapy, combined with some schooling and activities, due to start in the new year. I thought it sounded ideal, however, after a couple of initial assessment interviews, the last one today, they have pretty much come to the conclusion that she is not ready for it yet, mainly because she is so obviously opposed to it, feeling like she's being forced into it, etc.
In today's session, she sat there mute, writing the occasional note, shrugging her shoulders, and pretty much refusing to engage. She definitely did not want to speak to the psych one on one. We have just also formally withdrawn from distance education as well, because she refused to engage. I was pinning a lot on to this programme, because it was attached to a peer group therapy course she has been attending this term, and which she DID engage with. 
I think I need to feel the security of having some formal structure or plan in place to look forward to, whether it's enrolling in distance ed, lining up a therapy course, etc. Having nothing formal in place makes me feel very alone and cut adrift. I just don't know where we go from here. She is still seeing a case worker at CAMHS, but they are also at a bit of a loss with what to do with her, apart from recommending this therapy course. I understand it's a long haul, and I know I have to let go of some of my expectations and timelines, but I just needed to vent as I feel so frustrated.

[Dias]

Hopefully you no longer check these forums at all, and have continued to move onto easier times with your daughter! I just wanted to thank you for your 'good news' story. It has given me hope for my 2 children going through similar!

[Untethered]

You are right but after receiving your message it reminded me that perhaps I should. I remember quite clearly those difficult years and if my story and words of support can help others then I should make the time to do that, as the stories and support of others were such a lifeline to me. My daughter (now 21) remains in treatment but has secured employment and has been working for 5 months and is currently enjoying her first holiday overseas, which are both huge achievements of which I am very proud. In the end it was my daughter who had to make the changes but I know that would never of happened if I had not remained strong, remained committed and remained sane (although the concept of sanity has a whole new meaning for me now). The journey with my daughter is not over and I have been challenged to reflect on my own understandings as well. We are now both stronger, fighting for the life of a loved one takes everything you have but trust me, when you emerge from the dark and back into the light  you know exactly what you value and what is important and life becomes simpler.