Lived Experience Forum

[Judi9877]

Hi forum members! I've decided to start a discussion post on the topic of Resilience and all things related to mental health as I believe it is an important topic that each of us need to be aware of.

My question is:

What does resilience mean to you? Feel free to post your responses! I look forward to seeing what everyone comes up with!

Talk soon. 
Judi9877☺️💐🌈

[Millieme]

For me resilience is a way for other people to feel better. Used as 'you've been through lots/worse/this before' and 'been ok', 'so you'll be ok again'. It can be dismissive. In the case of children i've heard too many social workers proclaim that severely traumatised children are 'resilient' and 'bounce back'. Not a huge acknowledgement of the future of those kids down the track in regards to mental and physical health consequences.

[Faith-and-Hope]

Hi @Judi9877 

Resilience to me means being able to apply enough self-care to be able to get through really hard times.  That self-care includes reaching out for support from others.  It includes taking down-time away from the problem, even if it's earphones in my ears and music playing, or getting "lost" in a movie for a while.

I agree with @Millieme @that sometimes children can appear to be resilient through really tough stuff, but their emotional wounds have just been plastered over enough for them to seem okay, and the true trauma they suffered exposed itself through mental health issues or personality disorders later in life.

[TideisTurning]

What a great idea @Judi9877! Similar to @Faith-and-Hope, for me, resilience is being able to get back up again when you've been knocked down. 

@Millieme a realy interesting point about the lasting effects trauma can have. I agree that this could have an impact on 'resilience' long term and I'm really curious- do you have any ideas on how this could be better managed? I'd think acknowledging it as a first step, but keen to hear your thoughts. 

Also @Judi9877, what does resilience mean or look like for you?

[Owlunar]

Hi @Judi9877 

This is a good subject - I have managed to develop resilience through a life-time of different issues - my mother, my son and chronic pain - just to skim over the top - and when I run into another problem I know I will be okay just because I have lasted the distance with the hard-yards

And I am no longer young and the years are bringing their own problems - I still have chronic pain issues and I have a good specialist who treats rather than throws medication at the pain - but still he does okay the medication I need though this is becoming less with his help

It was overwhelming earlier in my life and I wonder how I would have seen things if I had known the future way back when - the solution to life-issues can be really hard sometimes and they can be right out of our hands - other times we need to make some kind of decision which can be difficult and unpopular - in reality we don't need to explain ourselves to family members but they can pry or add to our hard time with their criticism

But yes - the years do change us and our perception. I do not regret my life or the tough decisions I had to make. I rather like the person I have become and live alone - comfortable in my own skin and how I spend my time

This year and the lockdown in Melbourne was hard but according to my Support Workers I handled it really well - and I had 4 general hospital admissions and my daughter and I were taking it in turns to have operations - what a year!

But yes - even with resilience it can be a case of more bloody-hell when something else happens but we live through it and it does get easier - but I admit - never fun

I think opening this conversation is a good idea - it's a great subject

Dec

[Faith-and-Hope]

Hi @TideisTurning 

I believe that if a trauma is identified in the life of a child trauma counselling is required when they are young to help them process what has happened.  

My in-law family suffered war trauma for several generations, and I believe that has resulted in a "nest" of personality disorder, seemingly as a result of untreated PTSD.

[Daisydreamer]

Thank you for starting this discussion @Judi9877!

Resilience for me is about learning and self acceptance. It's accepting that my recovery will have ups and downs, wins and set backs, and that even sometimes when it feels like I am not moving far, that I have more skills and knowledge about myself and how I cope that puts me in a better position than when I first started this journey. It's also about self learning -every day I learn more about myself, and if I am open to that then it can help equip for the challenges of my mental health I may come across in future

🌼

[Maggie]

@Judi9877  An interesting thread.

I did a resilience test online. My score was low, and it said to get help. Lol.

I can’t  say I understand resilience at all, though I get what many mean by it. I often feel, because we have come through hard times, we are just expected to continue ,as we have often done, without too much thought of how the long term effects actually add up. 

I saw somewhere that resilience can, at times ,be (re silence), as in, you’ve done it before, get on with it, kind of thinking, without seeing behind the masks, the struggle, the hiding the “ real” journey.

Sometimes I don’t want to be resilient at all, and I go on, because there’s not too many other choices available, and it can feel like no choice at all.

Just some thoughts.

All the best to everyone. 

[TideisTurning]

Yes @Faith-and-Hope! Counselling can be so helpful for dealing with trauma. Also agree with you, @Owlunar in that resilience can be developed, built up and strengthened over time. I really like your take on it too @Daisydreamer! 

Also going to tag @LostAngel in case this thread is of interest to them 😊

[Peonies]

Great and super interesting topic @Judi9877 ! It's been super interesting to read everyone's perspectives on the this topic. 

For me, resilience can be positive in the sense that it helps me to see (for myself mainly) that I could possibly overcome the difficulties and challenges that I come across in my life, and with my mental health. Although, it may not be immediately (and that is okay ). Slow and steady wins the race right?  It also empowers me  when I tell myself "Setbacks are ok, I got this". And even if things haven't happened as how I have planned, it will help me to learn more about myself and what I am capable of