Lived Experience Forum

[Teej]

Just checking in @Razzle . I saw your post on the not feeling good thread but knew it was a difficult time to get a reply there just now. I had followed a bit last night and was surprised when I saw you post on the garden thread. I now understand why. I know you must be feeling distraught. I wanted to let you know that it has nothing to do with you being a mum. The fact that the kids wanted to be with you speaks volumes. The fact that your son wants to do the best by his partner and child whilst he is also young speaks volumes of what a good job you did with him. It seems to me you raised a good kid, it’s just a really difficult situation for him. 

I wanted to say that they did not choose the other grandparent over you. It appears that fear was greater than love for now. Your sons gf was put in such a hard place for her, she is young and fears being isolated. I’d imagine if she’s grown up like this is will be hard for her to leave. It is the way dv often works, leaving is complicated. It doesnt mean though that it will always be this way. 

As for you just now, I feel for you. I know it must feel dark and impossible. I wanted to remind you that it won’t be like this forever. I also wanted to get your husband to support you more too😏. Maybe that’s the next counselling topic. Please stay strong in the hope that it will change again. Thinking of you. 💜🤗

[Snowie]

Hi @Teej you didn't trigger me at all. 

I hope you today is going ok for you 

@CheerBear 

[Razzle]

@Teej   I just want out.  I. can’t even describe how much pain I’m in right now.  I put myself back in bed, I’ve slept on and off all day and just cry when I wake.  I can’t physically drag myself out of bed.  I can’t bare the thought that our little granddaughter is in that house and I can’t do a thing about it.  I just want it all to stop

[Tortoiseshell]

Hey @Razzle,

This sounds like a really difficult situation. I can hear that the thought of your granddaughter in that environment is so distressing. It is really hard supporting people to separate themselves from abusive situations. It sounds like you did a lot by giving them a safe option to go to, and although they weren't able to choose that this time, they may next time or the time after that. 

When you mention just wanting out and wanting it all to stop I am unsure if you are expressing wanting this horribe situation to end or if you are worried about your safety today. I'm going to send you an email to check in. 

Take care, 

Tortoiseshell 

[CheerBear]

Hey @Teej, @Snowie, @outlander and thanks for the tags.

I feel like I've been hit and miss here a bit too @Teej. A desk space sounds great. Mine is currently Middle's art space which is kind of lovely that they are enjoying hiding away in there, but also kind of annoying as it is because their art space is so messy!

It's great that respite was helpful, even if you were still feeling a bit lost after. I remember the feeling of being so warm and cozy during my winter break place stays, and how freezing home was after it! We had a blanket of ice on the lawn here too and a car windscreen full of it so much so that Big nearly missed getting to the bus today!

How have you been going since you came home?

@Snowie it's so nice to see you around some more again. How are you feeling about school holidays coming up?

I've had a big few days and feel like my head is only just catching up. We had a celebration thingy. It was one of those dates that's full of amazing, awesomeness in so many ways, as well as some dark twistedness for me on the inside. I always feel bad on this one as I hate that it has that darkness to it, but it was so lovely to be with the people who matter most in my/our life and I was able to keep it together and enjoy it all.

I also did something so exciting with my gig and had my first go at doing the professional support person thing. It felt like I'm building a bridge between support seeker and support person, and is another huge step from where I was to where I am going. I'm finding doing this takes a lot more than it used to and is harder than it used to be and I can't do as much of it as I would like (yet), but I'm OK with that. At least much more OK than I have felt about it in the past. This is part of my meaning and purpose beyond the walls of our house and I know it is a direction I want to go in, something I'm good at and something I feel good (really, really good) about doing. My face is something like this 😁😁😴😁😁😆

Better go pick up the crew. Sending ❤ to all

X

[CheerBear]

My post was terribly timed as I didn't see the above 🙁 Sorry razzle. I hope there is some relief from the worry and the sadness for you soon ❤

[Snowie]

Your gig sounds so exciting @CheerBear I am glad that you are liking it and it makes you feel good. I love that your face is so happy!

My kids have already started holidays. They get 3 weeks off these holidays. So we have been able to sleep in the last few days!!

Have got a few days planned out for them and some friends coming for a play date. They will both like that. 

@RazzleSo sorry to hear what you are going through, must be really tough. My thoughts are with you 

[CheerBear]

Thanks @Snowie 🙂 It feels like it has been a long time coming!

Three weeks is a lot of school holidays (for me anyway lol!). We had the best part of three weeks last time and as much as I enjoy them being home sometimes, I wasn't exactly sad when school went back. It's nice you have some things planned. We have a couple of things in mind but nothing too big or exciting. Mine are all tired and beginning to drag their feet a bit getting through the day. It will be good for them to have some down time 🙂

[Maggie]

Thanks @Teej 💜💕

[Teej]

Hi anyone passing through. 

@CheerBear  The short answer to how am I  now since being home is scatty. I am so scatterbrained currently. The good news is that respite has helped to overcome the si I was having constantly. I’ve come home to some tricky stuff but not fallen in that hole yet. I’ve been cooking again and doing the basics and avoiding prn meds. My psych will be pleased when I see her next week. 

Im very much struggling with the being a different person every day though. I really hope we can address this in therapy. It’s driving me slightly crazy. 

@Snowie How is today for you?  I read you had a rough day yesterday. I really hope today is better.