Lived Experience Forum

[TheVorticon]

I've had a lot of trouble with this lately but it's all in my head between sessions. Just thought after thought about how I don't deserve to see my psych anymore. Then he had to reschedule and it made things even more haywire until I decided I would see him on the rescheduled date he'd picked - because otherwise it'd be annoying for him to have to change the appointment. I know that changing his calendar is less annoying for him than having to see me for the appointment, but I couldn't bring myself to quit. It's just so hard all the time.

[Appleblossom]

Maybe its time to find a new psych.  You deserve to keep trying for you.  @TheVorticon 

or another form of therapy ... in the broadest possible sense... a group ... a creative outllet or hobby, while you look around.  I am not doing psychs for a while, but I have found other supports ... to be even better.

[TheVorticon]

Hey @Appleblossom.

Glad to hear that you're finding your other avenues of support to be helpful. 

Leaving my psych at this point would feel emotionally devastating (which is likely the reason that I keep torturing myself with the possibility). I honestly think I need the personal accountability of something like a counselling relationship to help me avoid being consumed by self critical thoughts... But the process also just triggers the thoughts at the same time. 

[Appleblossom]

@TheVorticon You are the one to make the call on what is best in your life.  Often things need to be unpacked to decide ... If you feel they are doing a good job or the best possible job, go with it.

I am hearing a sense of harshness, in your self critical side and need to be accountable.  Sometimes we really need to tough it out, and do the work, and all that, but I wonder if there is space for a little softening in judgment, a gentler, kinder way of thinking about yourself.  

Take Care

Apple