25-05-2019 09:00 PM
I am wondering if there are other Christian's struggling with MI on this forum and how u reconcile that with your faith.
I am a Bible believing Christian, but since suddenly somehow acquiring extreme anxiety and depression, (that is not at all well controlled), i am struggling in my Chrsitian walk. I believe God's word, but i have so much doubt and unbelief! Does that make sense? I am so scared about so many things much of the time, but God's word tells us not to fear and to trust in Him. But im struggling. And i feel so ashamed. I feel so ashamed of my lack of faith and trust in God, my unbelief, when im supposed to be a Christian trusting God! Is anyone else in the same boat, or been in the same boat? How do u walk this walk of what for me is daily torture, and keep trusting God. I am so scared that im never going to get better, but i know i should be trusting God to get me through this but im really struggling to. Help!
Ps: i dont know if this post is in the right forum, sorry if not!
25-05-2019 03:35 AM
25-05-2019 09:17 AM
This is a great topic @Doglover, although we are sad to hear about the internal conflicts that you are having with yourself regarding your illness and your faith. How are you currently managing your anxiety and depression now? Are you seeing someone that you feel comfortable talking to about your faith and your illness?
25-05-2019 03:21 PM
you are not alone my friend
this part jumps out to me first @Doglover about your extreme anxiety and depression, (that is not at all well controlled),-- do you mean medication wise ?
my husbane is a christian and he has had depression and axiety all his life and he has felt like you lots and lots of time
one day at a time my friend , keep in touch , read the bible
Have you got a MI team ??
It is not your lack of faith and trust in God,God is there alway for you
and I am a christian too and I have a lot of health Problems which is easy to say " why me " but " why not me" but that does not been I have stopped trusting God
26-05-2019 07:52 PM
Hi @plasmo ,
Unfortunately my anxiety comes with a lot of physical symptoms as well, which i dont understsnd and i dont think the medical profession does either, and is all consuming. Every moment is hard to bear. Its been a tough 7 months or so since this first started, and frankly each day since has been torturous. Nobody seems to know what to do with me. I feel like only a miracle is going to get me thru this! Thank u for ur support plasmo.
26-05-2019 08:09 PM
Thanks @Ali11 for your reply and kind words, much appreciated. It is a very good question u pose. No im not seeing anyone that i can talk to about these things. I have bn recommended a specific psychologist who is a Christian but even with the 10 sessions with MHC plan the gap is about $100 which i just cant afford. I have bn considering seeing if i can access some of my super on compassionate grounds for that purpose, and also to see a private psychiatrist. I am currently seeing 2 psychiatrists in the public system, plus an OT, they work as a team. One of the psych's i dont like at all, the other one is ok. But my anxiety is not at all managed and i dont think they know what to do with me. I am now addicted to meds that r meant to b short term but iv bn on for 7 months bcoz nothing they hav done has bn able to bring the anxiety under control so they havnt bn able to get me off those particular meds. And i am mortified that i am now an addict! Having never touched illicit drugs in my life and being a committed Christian. It breaks my heart. Who i have become is a shell of who i once was, and same goes for my life. I just feel like things are so hopeless, but then i feel terrible becoz my hope should be in God! I just cant see a way out or thru this situation, and i have no hope that its going to improve - it hasnt after 7 months. Then i feel so ashamed of myself for thinking/feeling that way and not trusting God more.
But u hav raised a very good point, i do need to be able to talk to a professional about this who will understand dont i?
26-05-2019 08:35 PM
You are not alone, christians are not exempt from any health issues and that includes mental health disorders. Absence of illness is not mentioned as being a fruit of the spirit, which are the traits that we hope to demonstrate as we strive to become more Christlike.
God has promised to be with us in the dark valleys and He is with you just as he is with my husband who struggles with anxiety and bipolar ii, I certainly don't know how I would have managed through his crisis without my faith.
Can I offer a prayer for you?
Gracious and loving heavenly father, I bring before you @Doglover , I pray he/she will know your presence and comfort in midst of his/her anxiety and depression. Be to him/her the light in his/her darkness and give him/her the courage to reach out for help and I pray you will give him/her the strength he/she needs to enable him/her to manage his/her condition.
This I pray, in Jesus name
26-05-2019 08:54 PM
You're welcome @Doglover, and you've come to a good group for talking these things through. Regular in person support can get quite costly, it's good that you're looking at options and definitely sounds like you're doing the right thing in weighing up speaking to someone. Medication can have it's benefits and it's cons, but we hear you about how any dependency on them can be confronting. Always forgive yourself, 7 months is a relatively short time and some healing can take years, but things will get better. If that psych isn't working for you it is worth asking for someone that you feel more comfortable with, your health is what matters
26-05-2019 09:13 PM
Hi @Shaz51 , thanks so much for ur support. Yes anxiety is not well controlled meds wise. Im not sure if uv seen some of my past posts about being concerned that ingredients in meds r actually excacerbating the problem (due to past experiences). It doesnt seem to matter what they do, my anxiety is not controlled, and that only serves to enhance my belief about the excipients in the meds, which noone believes. Thats one of the reasons why i dont hav much hope of things changing.
I feel for your husband. Is his depression and anxiety well managed? My husband does not understand MI at all and my struggles over the last 7 months have rly tested our relationship. I wish he was more compassionate and understanding but he gets very frustrated. I think partly bcoz he doesnt understand it and partly coz he cant fix it, and partly bcoz it is frustrating!. Plus our entire lives hav changed, i am a shell of who i once was, nothing like the woman my husband married, and our lives hav bn so dramatically impacted by this, its bn incredibly traumatic and thrs bn times that i hav bn scared for our marriage which, as a Christian, is saying a lot.
I hav an MI team, cant say im overly thrilled with them. My doc until recently was a very hard woman - she has just left the practice so i hav just transferred over to another doc - too sn to tell what hes like. I have a team in the public system of 2 psychiatrists and an OT. Dont like one of the psychiatrists at all, the other is ok, ot is nice enuf. I dont hav a psychologist which i think i need, but then i think the anxiety nds to b more under control to get anything out of it.
R ur health problems physical, or do u have MI as well. If u do, at least u and ur husband can understand and support each other.
Thanks so much for all your encouragement and support, i really appreciate it.
I think ive realised thru this post that i need more support than what im getting. But will need to try n access super to get any support thru private system. Can i ask if ur hubby (and u if u hav MI) r supported thru the public system or r u under the private system? Can u share a little of urs/ur husbands support network and how it works for u?
Thanks again. Xx
26-05-2019 09:38 PM
@Darcy Your reply brought tears to my eyes, thank u. Im a she by the way - are we allowed to reveal that? Just feel sometimes its easier to know that one detail.
I thank u so much for ur wise counsel. It is true, Christians r not exempt from getting sick, but i hav certainly struggled to cone to trms with my illness as a Christian. Thr is so much stigma attached out there, but i think theres as much stigma attached to MI in me than anything anyone else could put on me. I feel like a failure, as a wife, as a Christian, as someone who was highly functional in the workforce and now cant work, i just feel like my whole world has come crashing down. And im trying to trust God in the midst of this very dark valley, but not doing a very gd job of it!!
Is ur husbands anxiety and bp well managed or not rly? I was the primary carer for my mum for approx 20 years of my life - she has anxiety and bp - probably played a big role in me ending up the way i am. How does ur husband cope generally?
Thank u for praying for me, i so appreciate it. Based on ur prayer and post in general, i think our belief systems are somwhat similar , from what i can tell neway.
May the Lord bless thee and keep thee and make His face to shine upon thee.
Thank u again for your support and prayer for me.
I think this chat with yourself and @Ali11 has rly made me realise that i do need someone as part of my MH team that i can talk to about these things, which i dont hav at the moment.
God bless u @Darcy
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