Friends, Family & Carers Forum

[outlander]

@Sans911 if you are still around would you mind sitting with me for abit?

[Sans911]

Of course lil Sis @outlander. Do you want to talk about anything? Like what you posted on the worry thread? Or anything else?

[outlander]

Thanks sis @Sans911
I don't really know what I need atm. I found out that ive now just been replaced on the property as a horse minder I suppose you could call it. starting to feel like life should just be over with already, by the time things change here its going to be to late to do anything.

[outlander]

have you ever seen 'Inside out' its a kids movie but whereever the character Sadness goes shes starts to leave a trail of 'blue' just by walking past something, thats kind of how i feel right now. I dont mean to complain  or make things worse, it just seems to happen. Its so silly. 

Maybe just one of your sis hugs would suffice

[Sans911]

Sorry lil Sis @outlander I didn't get any notifications. Come snuggle up next to your big Sis.

What do you mean by 'by the time things change here its going to be to late to do anything'? I'm not quite following.

[outlander]

Thank you that would be nice @Sans911

Sorry i didnt explain things very well. What i mean is by the time i dont have all these respibsibilities, lifes going to be half over. Pops only going to get worse and worse but the supports arent going to increase until hes in a nursing home. By the time this has happened i dont know whatll be left. I dont have friends and struggle to make and keep them, i dont have very good social skills or any other skills really, and when i m not a carer anymore id have to find other work. Who would hire someone older esp with such minimal skills when its tough just for young people to get one.
I dont know what else to do with my life. I dont feel passionate about anything or if i do its very short lived so even looking at studies makes it hard because i dont even know a direction or i think i do but this i loose interest quite quickly.
I feel empty like a shell but at the same time theres also alot happening inside too.
My health just seems to decrease and every where i look and go a new diagnoses awaits me. I feel like the only way i can reduce my burden is to pay my own way for everything. Ie not get care plans for medicare-just pay a regular fee for services. Im still not finding any answers though to 3 things so still feel like a burden just going round and round.

Add the traumas and mh challanges and just seems like an endless concoction of troubles and things to manage

[outlander]

@Snowie just tagging you over here too. Hope thats ok.. 💌

[Sans911]

So sorry @outlander I'm not sure if you're still awake. I had a friend from NZ call me and we had a long chat. She's a nurse as well.

Yes, in time your pop will end up in a nursing home. But you are still very young, and there is a whole long life ahead that you don't know yet how that looks.

You are here in the forums quite often so I would say you do have social skills. I realise applying them in real life is much harder ti do.

But right now you're in a situation where nothing is easy, and you aren't a priority. So developing friendships is hard because there's so little time for you. You are responsible also for much of your sister's care and that tio impacts on time you have go out, be yourself and develop friendships.

And who would hire you? You have life skills, plenty of courses you have done. There's two things going for you. Employers would also see someone who is a keen learner, who is motivated and willing to take on challenges. You are intelligent, creative, thoughtful and you have so much going for you that employers woukd be falling over themselves to hire you.

It doesn't matter if you dont know what you want to do right now. But I understand that it's important to you and makes you feel hollow and empty. Unfortunately you don't have a lot of control over your situation right now so all you can do is stick it out until one day you will be the only person that you need to take care of.

When that time comes that you can be independent you may choose to move away. That might open more choices in employment opportunities but also give you more choice and options for treatment of your health problems including your mental health.

You're not a burden lil Sis. The things that have happened to you have been out of your control and unexpected. Yes, living with these lifelong complications will feel like a burden and might hinder your ability to work in tge future. But the future isn't here yet. Technology changes, medical research and treatments change.

All you can deal with is what's in front of you right now. That is a burden on it's own, and more than you can cope with most of the time. But just keep putting one foot in front of the other. Just keep going. Life won't be like this forever. There's a different life ahead for you yet. I know it.

[Snowie]

@outlanderyou can tag me anywhere you like. I am finding the forums busy and trying to limit myself to just a few threads. It's a bit overwhelming.

In saying that I am always going to be here for you sis, you are super important to me. You too @Sans911 

Love and hugs

[outlander]

Thank you @Sans911 @Snowie
Ive not long got home from a huge day again but have read your posts and have lots of love for you both as always. I always appreciate the time and effort you always use to respond to me💜💜💜

The forums are quote busy which I guess is good in a way too. Im a little bit overwhelmed with some of the tagging (not from you guys) so far I have 12 tags from the same member just from today 😬 so im trying to just reply to what I can from them. feel a little bad I cant respond to them all though.

@Snowie I seen your post on the Worry room, did you want to talk about it?